Recently, I had watched a few movies. It talks about loves and separation of the couples. Well, this can be very true as well in our daily lives. Most of the times, we had planned many thing for the coming moment in our lives. For example, I want to eat KFC tomorrow, I want to buy a car tomorrow, I want to play the game tomorrow, I wanna prepare some fresh milk for my beloved breakfast and the list continue. However, fate and destiny will determine whether each and every listed item can be realized or not. It is not us that is going to make it a reality.
One of my friends had recently involved in an accident. It had made me think of a lot of things. If he had passed away in that accident is there anything he will regret for? Does he spend enough time with his beloved one? Has he told the people around him what he thinks about them? Well, has he finished all the listed items he wants to do before he breathes out his last breath?
Men are species that learn through pain and self regret. It is very typical that someone do not really appreciate the things, people and the nature that surround him or her. It is up to the moment that he or she had felt the lost of it…the person involve will start to be in deep regret and great pain. The regret of not really spending enough time with the things that existed besides him or her all the time….to be in pain for the lost that he or she had experience. To be in pain of the blame that he or she had to face. This is typical way the lives on earth that everyone is gaining and experiencing.
No matter how much you said, I appreciate the things existed beside me, I had spent most of my times with my beloved one, I had do all the listed items I want to do in the future…by the moment you breathe out the last breath…you will feel unsatisfied and deep regret. Not just you but the thing that existed around you….
If my friend had passed away in that particular accident, I can felt the deep regret and pain in his heart. This is because there are too many things that he wants to tells the person beside him, there are still a lot of things that he wanna do. However, it is all too late. He had left. There is no point because there is no turning back. I an be for sure, I will be in pain as well because there are also things that I wanna do with him…there are times that I wanna spent with him, with my friends…but he already left the world and I cannot see him talking to me, listening to my or even just a simple look on me…there is no return….i had to move on….
Appreciate your beloved friends, lovers, family and persons that love you before everything is too late for the last speech to be voice out….it is never too late to say….i love you more that I can….spent the most time with him so that there is no regret when he or she left you….we are not God…we dun have the power to control life but we had the power to show our feeling and loves to each others…..
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Do I Miss Something?
As time pass by, life goes on, we gain maturity and at the same time we were travelling nearer towards the end of our journey. As we get nearer towards the end, there is one question that might always comes into my mind, “Did I miss something in my life?”
I had being always asking myself this questions. As we move through our life journey, we do not have enough hands to hold and grabs everything we had seen. We are not capable to do everything that we wanted to. There must be things that we had to left behind and continue our journey to the front. If we remain at the same point to finish something, we never see what is waiting for us in front.
Recently, I had come across a few events. All seems so interesting and important for me. However, I am not capable to have all of them together. Not all at once. However, I was too greedy. I still wanna have all of them too. Thus, I had done nothing but delaying. Stop myself at this point without any decision made, without any efforts to move forwards. I had stop there waiting for the correct timing and grab all those things I wanted before continuing my journey. It was a very childish thinking of me.
As time pass by, I was just like day dreaming. Sometimes, I really hope that time will promise a solution for all the choices available for me. This is because I do not know how to choose. I believe time can provide me an answer. However, this is not always a happy ending solution because there are times where things shall be solved by me myself. No one can help me as the nature of times does not provide me any answer, the nature of stress and forces also not promising any answer. All that had to be done is just a decision that I had to make for myself.
Haiz….human are so tiny. Although we can predict what is suppose to happen, I believe that as time pass by a solution will appear to solve all the problems, I strongly behave like a normal person but it is just an imaginations….when can I be awaken from this imagination? This answer for this question is simple – make decision and move on….what did I miss? To move on, we had to carry on something with us…we had to left something behind us…that is the way of life….
I had being always asking myself this questions. As we move through our life journey, we do not have enough hands to hold and grabs everything we had seen. We are not capable to do everything that we wanted to. There must be things that we had to left behind and continue our journey to the front. If we remain at the same point to finish something, we never see what is waiting for us in front.
Recently, I had come across a few events. All seems so interesting and important for me. However, I am not capable to have all of them together. Not all at once. However, I was too greedy. I still wanna have all of them too. Thus, I had done nothing but delaying. Stop myself at this point without any decision made, without any efforts to move forwards. I had stop there waiting for the correct timing and grab all those things I wanted before continuing my journey. It was a very childish thinking of me.
As time pass by, I was just like day dreaming. Sometimes, I really hope that time will promise a solution for all the choices available for me. This is because I do not know how to choose. I believe time can provide me an answer. However, this is not always a happy ending solution because there are times where things shall be solved by me myself. No one can help me as the nature of times does not provide me any answer, the nature of stress and forces also not promising any answer. All that had to be done is just a decision that I had to make for myself.
Haiz….human are so tiny. Although we can predict what is suppose to happen, I believe that as time pass by a solution will appear to solve all the problems, I strongly behave like a normal person but it is just an imaginations….when can I be awaken from this imagination? This answer for this question is simple – make decision and move on….what did I miss? To move on, we had to carry on something with us…we had to left something behind us…that is the way of life….
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wahai pelangi
Engkau cuma sejalur kain berwarna
panjangmu tak sampai sedepa langit
Apakah erti hadirmu pada langit ini
Apakah dayamu menandingi langit ini
oh pelangi
apakah kuasa kamu
apakah sihir kamu
anak adam semua terlupakan langit
wahai anak adam,
jangan engkau lupa,
pelangiitu berkunjung sementara
pelangi itu datang membawa indah
ia juga datang membawa hampa dan bala
anak – anak adam
pelangi hanya sekadar hiasan
langitlah punca sumbermu
langitlah punca nafasmu
langitlah inilah asas hidupmu
jangan engkau anak adam
terpesona dan terpedaya
pelangi indah menawan
penakluk hati yang suci
penebus hati yang berkecai nanti
sedarlah anak adam….
Lihatlah pada langit
Ia sentiasa bersamamu….
Tanpa masa dan waktu…
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Life : it is always road not taken….
Sometimes, I really hope that I was not given any choices when it is time to decide something. Choices will just leave the decision undecided. This is very true. Sometimes, when we were forced to choose the only option available, the decision must be made and carried doesn’t matter by hook or by crook. Well, this is life.
There are times when we really need some options to choose. There are also times where we never hope the choices were available so that we can proceed. The question is why choices will seem to make things undecided. Well, this is simple. Let say if you are lost in the big city, if there is not much branchy road then you can reach the other end very soon and you will know where are you going to stop. However, if the road you lost is branchy road, there are too many choices for you to choose and decide before you can reach the other end. Sometimes, you really regretted your choice and want to move back and walk the other road that you didn’t choose. This is why the time is longer because your footstep never in one pace and distinction.
After all, you will always want to move to the front but your heart is always being hold back by the other option you didn’t choose. Well, it is always the road not taken. Life there is no return. When the decision had been decided, we have to move on. There is no point turning back because you will need to restart all over again. Yes, it is true that you can restart all over again but my question will be how many times do you have to restart all over again? The reality is that how much life do you have to restart all over again?
Not just that, the efforts and the impact for one to start all over again are not just involve on that particular person. It is a very high amplitude decision that affect al the people around him or her. Simple question will an overall view of his situation I stated: do you think you can remarry another person when you found that your husband or wife was not the right person for you? Well, nowadays people will say it is easy, just divorce and that is it. Life is not that simple. The elderly will know what lies behind a divorce and what lies behind a marriage that not really understood by the people nowadays. Well, this days people want a simple life but actually they messing an playing with daily chores that make their lives more complicated and complex.
Well, life can be very simple. Just decide what it is suppose to decide and move on. No matter the pros and cons the decision that we had decided, we had to take it up and life goes on. If look carefully, those pros and cons is what we so called a conclusion of our lives when we breathe out our last breath. Life is always the road not taken but let the road not taken jealous on us rather than we jealous on the road not taken….
There are times when we really need some options to choose. There are also times where we never hope the choices were available so that we can proceed. The question is why choices will seem to make things undecided. Well, this is simple. Let say if you are lost in the big city, if there is not much branchy road then you can reach the other end very soon and you will know where are you going to stop. However, if the road you lost is branchy road, there are too many choices for you to choose and decide before you can reach the other end. Sometimes, you really regretted your choice and want to move back and walk the other road that you didn’t choose. This is why the time is longer because your footstep never in one pace and distinction.
After all, you will always want to move to the front but your heart is always being hold back by the other option you didn’t choose. Well, it is always the road not taken. Life there is no return. When the decision had been decided, we have to move on. There is no point turning back because you will need to restart all over again. Yes, it is true that you can restart all over again but my question will be how many times do you have to restart all over again? The reality is that how much life do you have to restart all over again?
Not just that, the efforts and the impact for one to start all over again are not just involve on that particular person. It is a very high amplitude decision that affect al the people around him or her. Simple question will an overall view of his situation I stated: do you think you can remarry another person when you found that your husband or wife was not the right person for you? Well, nowadays people will say it is easy, just divorce and that is it. Life is not that simple. The elderly will know what lies behind a divorce and what lies behind a marriage that not really understood by the people nowadays. Well, this days people want a simple life but actually they messing an playing with daily chores that make their lives more complicated and complex.
Well, life can be very simple. Just decide what it is suppose to decide and move on. No matter the pros and cons the decision that we had decided, we had to take it up and life goes on. If look carefully, those pros and cons is what we so called a conclusion of our lives when we breathe out our last breath. Life is always the road not taken but let the road not taken jealous on us rather than we jealous on the road not taken….
Monday, October 11, 2010
Pen or Pencil...
This evening I am having the Biostatic quiz before the lecture ended. The questions were projected on the screen and we need to answer both of the questions. After reading the question, I had pop out with a silly question that sound: “Miss X, can I use pencil to answer the quiz?”
Well, an university student is asking the lecturer whether he can use a pencil to answer his quiz or not. At first I thought it was nothing. I assume it is part of the jokes of the day. After hearing the answer from Miss X, I suddenly think that it is a joke of my life. Her answer is: “Hmm, answer it with pen la…this must be very not confident with yourself. That is why you want to use pencil.”
Like usual, I will deny most of the answer provided by this Miss X. however, this time I had a very different feeling. I had thought a lot about what she said throughout the quiz. My dear reader, think twice…when do we use pencil to write most of the things in our daily lives? When do we use pen to write down all the important notes daily? Think again…
When we are small, I mean when we are kid in the primary school, we were taught to use pencil to write and we were provided with an eraser. When we had written wrong, we can just simply erase the wrongly written letter or words. Then, we rewrite to correct the mistake written earlier. This somehow makes writing seem to have nothing wrong just that there are a bit dirt behind our writing. It sometimes seems to be like the water mark and make the writing perfectly match it.
As we grew older, we are into the maturity phase of our lives. As we enter this phase of life, we had come across many new things and new feeling that we seldom come across as a kid. On of the item being introduce is using the pen. I still remember when I was in Standard 6, most of my friends wanted to use a pen so badly in their homework. I was questioning myself about that. I am wondering why they so wanted to use a pen? For me both the pen and pencil are the same. This is especially black inked pen.
As I enter Form 1, we were asked and forced to use pen to manage our daily homework and teachers usually requires a blue inked pen for that. Just like pencil, we were being introduced with ‘liquid paper’ too. It is used to erase the faulty writing. However, the usage of the pen is very much different from using a pencil. When we had written something wrong with pen, we need to use liquid paper to correct it. The liquid paper will left the scar on the paper and it is very significant that we had written something wrong on the paper. Compare to using a pencil, we just erase it and that is it. Nothing much scar was left on the paper.
Thus, most of us later keep n asking the teacher whether we can use the pencil or not. Actually, it is whenever we were not confident to write down something, we will ask the teacher and request to use the pencil. Why?
This is so that we can correct the wrongly written items on the paper easily. If we use a pen, it takes time for the liquid paper to dry and rewrite the correct writing on the liquid paper sometimes is very difficult. Then, we were taught to just draw a horizontal line over the wrong written letter. This has lead writing to get worse. The paper with the essay writing was like a piece of art of line across the words and letter.
When look back this on me today. It has nothing much different. This is actually what life is as well. As a kid, when we had did something wrong, we can just erase it and correct what we had did wrong. Just like the pencil and eraser. It left nothing much scar on the paper. As we grew adult, this piece of paper will just become part of our memory and sometimes being forgotten as well.
In the adulthood, our lives are just like a pen and liquid paper. Every wrong step will leave a terrible scar on the paper. It takes longer time for use to correct something that we have did wrongly. It is just like waiting for the liquid paper to dry up before we can write the correct letter on it.
When we are kid, whenever we had did something wrong people will be very forgiving. Instead they will think that the wrong step taken by the kid will be the life long experience and it is also the teacher of life that the kid should bring to the last breath of life. However, human is living in reality and not in the ideal situation. We will forget this easily-forgiven lesson and keep on repeating the faults until some scar had permanently curved on our memories. That is why adult want to be kid so much. It is just like using a pencil with a eraser.
As we grew older, our memories and experience will also being piled up. At the same time, our faulty also increases. How do we really want to manage the faulty or mistakes that we had generated is very much depending on how we want to face the consequences. Last but not least, as an adult…we always have the choices to choose to either to use a pen or a pencil to write down our life on a piece of paper…when there are mistake, then you will question yourself…is pen or pencil better…my answer will be…no matter it is pen or pencil…you still have to write…that is life…..
Well, an university student is asking the lecturer whether he can use a pencil to answer his quiz or not. At first I thought it was nothing. I assume it is part of the jokes of the day. After hearing the answer from Miss X, I suddenly think that it is a joke of my life. Her answer is: “Hmm, answer it with pen la…this must be very not confident with yourself. That is why you want to use pencil.”
Like usual, I will deny most of the answer provided by this Miss X. however, this time I had a very different feeling. I had thought a lot about what she said throughout the quiz. My dear reader, think twice…when do we use pencil to write most of the things in our daily lives? When do we use pen to write down all the important notes daily? Think again…
When we are small, I mean when we are kid in the primary school, we were taught to use pencil to write and we were provided with an eraser. When we had written wrong, we can just simply erase the wrongly written letter or words. Then, we rewrite to correct the mistake written earlier. This somehow makes writing seem to have nothing wrong just that there are a bit dirt behind our writing. It sometimes seems to be like the water mark and make the writing perfectly match it.
As we grew older, we are into the maturity phase of our lives. As we enter this phase of life, we had come across many new things and new feeling that we seldom come across as a kid. On of the item being introduce is using the pen. I still remember when I was in Standard 6, most of my friends wanted to use a pen so badly in their homework. I was questioning myself about that. I am wondering why they so wanted to use a pen? For me both the pen and pencil are the same. This is especially black inked pen.
As I enter Form 1, we were asked and forced to use pen to manage our daily homework and teachers usually requires a blue inked pen for that. Just like pencil, we were being introduced with ‘liquid paper’ too. It is used to erase the faulty writing. However, the usage of the pen is very much different from using a pencil. When we had written something wrong with pen, we need to use liquid paper to correct it. The liquid paper will left the scar on the paper and it is very significant that we had written something wrong on the paper. Compare to using a pencil, we just erase it and that is it. Nothing much scar was left on the paper.
Thus, most of us later keep n asking the teacher whether we can use the pencil or not. Actually, it is whenever we were not confident to write down something, we will ask the teacher and request to use the pencil. Why?
This is so that we can correct the wrongly written items on the paper easily. If we use a pen, it takes time for the liquid paper to dry and rewrite the correct writing on the liquid paper sometimes is very difficult. Then, we were taught to just draw a horizontal line over the wrong written letter. This has lead writing to get worse. The paper with the essay writing was like a piece of art of line across the words and letter.
When look back this on me today. It has nothing much different. This is actually what life is as well. As a kid, when we had did something wrong, we can just erase it and correct what we had did wrong. Just like the pencil and eraser. It left nothing much scar on the paper. As we grew adult, this piece of paper will just become part of our memory and sometimes being forgotten as well.
In the adulthood, our lives are just like a pen and liquid paper. Every wrong step will leave a terrible scar on the paper. It takes longer time for use to correct something that we have did wrongly. It is just like waiting for the liquid paper to dry up before we can write the correct letter on it.
When we are kid, whenever we had did something wrong people will be very forgiving. Instead they will think that the wrong step taken by the kid will be the life long experience and it is also the teacher of life that the kid should bring to the last breath of life. However, human is living in reality and not in the ideal situation. We will forget this easily-forgiven lesson and keep on repeating the faults until some scar had permanently curved on our memories. That is why adult want to be kid so much. It is just like using a pencil with a eraser.
As we grew older, our memories and experience will also being piled up. At the same time, our faulty also increases. How do we really want to manage the faulty or mistakes that we had generated is very much depending on how we want to face the consequences. Last but not least, as an adult…we always have the choices to choose to either to use a pen or a pencil to write down our life on a piece of paper…when there are mistake, then you will question yourself…is pen or pencil better…my answer will be…no matter it is pen or pencil…you still have to write…that is life…..
Monday, October 4, 2010
will the properity come for a visit again?
It has being a long time since I ever post something over here. Well, I had a lot to write but I do not have the time. However, I had pulled myself up to write about this scene I had seen a few days ago. I was having my dinner at some restaurant nearby my campus. I saw this Chinese family sitting on the table nearby. There are two kids and their parents. On the other table there is another Indian family consisting of a mother and three children. They are all having their male while I had just order my meal. I heard one of the Chinese family kids ask her mom: Mommy, why are the black colour?
Can you guess what did the mother said? I was guessing that the mother will said that they Indian was born to be black skinned due to their genetic. Well, it was quite scientific answer. However, I heard a very different answer and I felt so amazed with the answer…the mother answer is “well, they seldom bath ma…that why their skin is full with ‘daki’ and they all ma black lo” luckily I was not drinking my water. If not I am very sure that I had already spurt out on the spot. It was very funny and I was holding my smile so that the Chinese family does not notice that I am smiling at them.
Then the father supports the answer of his wife: “If Ah Mei (I think is that little girl’s name) no bath probably then will be a black as them lo… if yu dowan be black like them you must bath probably and dun get near them so much in school k”
After listening to the answer of the father, I suddenly had a very cold feeling deep in my heart and I do not feel that their conversation has any humor anymore. Instead I felt a cold sweat sweep through my ears. Luckily the Indian mother and her children do not understand Chinese. Maybe she understand but just ignore them.
I am wondering if this is our community nowadays, the parent guidance for the children is in such a ‘special’ way, then no wonder we have so many blogs and the post on facebook talking about racism. I cannot inaging what kind of mindset the little girl will be when she grow up with the influence about a multiracial society. If she really believes her parents words thatn I bet when she had grown up, she wunt have many Indian friends. Maybe she will just live in the Chinese community.
Parents actually play a very important role in the children cognitive and social development. Any slippage in the parental education will result a hazardous consequences in the future. There are things that about other races that we can make fun with and humorous but when this humor comes into some sensitive thinking, it is no longer a joke.
It is actually a very saddening incident in Malaysia that we can read a lot of articles and post in facebook and blog and other website about faulty belief in religion and negative view of other races believe. We have a very hot issue about the quran book burning by the Christian about 911, we had also heard about the influences of the Christ in depleting the muslim believe. At the same time we also had heard many things about racism.
Have we ever wondered why all these consequences never happen in the older days? I am not a very old man but I had used to grown up in a multi racial environment. My mother had hired two baby sitter to take care of me when I was a baby; an Indian single-mother and a Malay mother with 3 kids. Up to this days, I am still in contact with them. Visiting each other during festive season. My old house allow me to experience the real prosperity living in the multi racial society. Nowadays, me and my family do not really like the new neighborhood because every corner is all Chinese. We prefer the old house because we had all kinds of races in every corner of the neighborhood. This include the Indonesian.
What had made us nowadays is actually what our history is. It is like making a cake. The dough will make the flavor of the cake in the future. However, I do not know where is the part that had went wrong making the society in Malaysia today not like before. If I ever ask this question to any of the minister, I bet I will have the same answer but a different variable. Each race will blame other races for the racism. If that is the answer that will be given by the minister, then no wonder why the olden days will never visit Malaysia again.
I really miss my older days where I can run in and out the house of my neighbor, sleep overnight no matter it is Indian or malay house. I always remember my mom had told me that my grandmother had scolded her for hiring an Indian as a baby sitter. She also got scold for letting me sleep overnight at the malay house. Well, that is what a Malaysian should be I bet. We do not really care what skin colour are you but the feeling of being togetherness as a neighbours. My mom has no worries to let me take care by any races because she believe and confident about my safety with them. Are nowadays mother will be able to do so? I am not sure but I am very thankful that my mom had given me this precious view about multiracial society.
After all, I really hope that the multiracial prosperity will arise and bring back all those old days that I had pass through. I really hope that the mother will think twice about what she had told her little daughther….
Can you guess what did the mother said? I was guessing that the mother will said that they Indian was born to be black skinned due to their genetic. Well, it was quite scientific answer. However, I heard a very different answer and I felt so amazed with the answer…the mother answer is “well, they seldom bath ma…that why their skin is full with ‘daki’ and they all ma black lo” luckily I was not drinking my water. If not I am very sure that I had already spurt out on the spot. It was very funny and I was holding my smile so that the Chinese family does not notice that I am smiling at them.
Then the father supports the answer of his wife: “If Ah Mei (I think is that little girl’s name) no bath probably then will be a black as them lo… if yu dowan be black like them you must bath probably and dun get near them so much in school k”
After listening to the answer of the father, I suddenly had a very cold feeling deep in my heart and I do not feel that their conversation has any humor anymore. Instead I felt a cold sweat sweep through my ears. Luckily the Indian mother and her children do not understand Chinese. Maybe she understand but just ignore them.
I am wondering if this is our community nowadays, the parent guidance for the children is in such a ‘special’ way, then no wonder we have so many blogs and the post on facebook talking about racism. I cannot inaging what kind of mindset the little girl will be when she grow up with the influence about a multiracial society. If she really believes her parents words thatn I bet when she had grown up, she wunt have many Indian friends. Maybe she will just live in the Chinese community.
Parents actually play a very important role in the children cognitive and social development. Any slippage in the parental education will result a hazardous consequences in the future. There are things that about other races that we can make fun with and humorous but when this humor comes into some sensitive thinking, it is no longer a joke.
It is actually a very saddening incident in Malaysia that we can read a lot of articles and post in facebook and blog and other website about faulty belief in religion and negative view of other races believe. We have a very hot issue about the quran book burning by the Christian about 911, we had also heard about the influences of the Christ in depleting the muslim believe. At the same time we also had heard many things about racism.
Have we ever wondered why all these consequences never happen in the older days? I am not a very old man but I had used to grown up in a multi racial environment. My mother had hired two baby sitter to take care of me when I was a baby; an Indian single-mother and a Malay mother with 3 kids. Up to this days, I am still in contact with them. Visiting each other during festive season. My old house allow me to experience the real prosperity living in the multi racial society. Nowadays, me and my family do not really like the new neighborhood because every corner is all Chinese. We prefer the old house because we had all kinds of races in every corner of the neighborhood. This include the Indonesian.
What had made us nowadays is actually what our history is. It is like making a cake. The dough will make the flavor of the cake in the future. However, I do not know where is the part that had went wrong making the society in Malaysia today not like before. If I ever ask this question to any of the minister, I bet I will have the same answer but a different variable. Each race will blame other races for the racism. If that is the answer that will be given by the minister, then no wonder why the olden days will never visit Malaysia again.
I really miss my older days where I can run in and out the house of my neighbor, sleep overnight no matter it is Indian or malay house. I always remember my mom had told me that my grandmother had scolded her for hiring an Indian as a baby sitter. She also got scold for letting me sleep overnight at the malay house. Well, that is what a Malaysian should be I bet. We do not really care what skin colour are you but the feeling of being togetherness as a neighbours. My mom has no worries to let me take care by any races because she believe and confident about my safety with them. Are nowadays mother will be able to do so? I am not sure but I am very thankful that my mom had given me this precious view about multiracial society.
After all, I really hope that the multiracial prosperity will arise and bring back all those old days that I had pass through. I really hope that the mother will think twice about what she had told her little daughther….
Monday, September 20, 2010
so called 7 deadly sins......
From facebook, I had read one of my friend post sound like this: “7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride ... omg i got more than half i guess…”
Some of the sins named in his post I know it very well, some of them I need to search through dictionary to know exactly the meaning. Shame on me…however, I still wanna share this with you all.
From the listed sins, the following table shows the explanation: (all from Longman Dictionary)
LUST:
This is a feeling that I think I owned very much. I always have a strong desire to have something in my life. I want to be happy, I want to life a very prosperous life where there are no worries and no faulty. However, this is a feeling listed as a sin. I am wondering. How sinful it is to have lust for happiness and prosperity….
Gluttony & Greed:
I think I have this as well sin because I seldom eat a lot but I will buy a lot of food and drinks. Usually I cannot finish them and then last destination of the food will be in the rubbish bin. I am not sure of why but I will buy all the food that I think I will eat. However, when I really want to start eating I will feel full looking at all those foods. It is large wastage. I know it very well but I cannot stop myself. This is what called greed. I am greedy for more foods and drinks. However I cannot finish them and throw them into the rubbish bin. This is pure greed not for power and money but is in sanitation.
I am pretty sure that I do not greed for power as I do not like to hold power in my ability. I feel very uneasy because those who has power in his or her ability will always need to make decision. I do not greed for money too. I never look money as everything in my life but it is part of the needs to survive. I never ask for more money as I do not think I need it. I can life a simple life as I wanted too. Do not need any extra money…
SLOTH
This is very true about me. I am very lazy. Too lazy till sometimes I keep on conflicting with the inner me. I do not know why but sometimes I really want to just lay down and do nothing for a few days, a few weeks and months and years…however, I cannot stand for the boredom too. Thus, I also do not know what I really want….
WRATH
I am a person that can be easily light up. A simple thing can make me furious and full of anger. A little pressure in life will make me see thing is fire. I seldom cool down when my anger had visited me. It takes times longer than a month for me to really relese all my anger. Or else I need to be alone in some place to find back the calamity in my life…or else most of my friend will get scold from me….bad bad me…
ENVY
I do have envy deep in myself. This feeling is always there for me. As I look on other people success I will not feel jealous but I really envy his or her successfulness. I hope I am he or she and stand there being awarded or being praised. I hoep that I am an working fellah so that I can owned my own house, my own car and other possessions when I look at those working adult. I used to had this feeling at a very young age of 10 I bet…
PRIDE
I do not like the feeling of pride. Whenever I had something to be proud of, I will keep it so that no people know about it. I do not like people to know about my success because I feel ashamed. Most of them will think that I am just showing off with pride. So I think I do not really have the pride. Thus, not long ago I had lost myself. I do not know what is the point I struggle for my study and other stuuf because I do not really like the feeling of pride….
Actually, the point I share this seven sins is not tho show to you guys that the sins and the effect of having these kind of feeling. I just want to point out that, the so said sins actually is very depend on how the community look at the moral values nowadays. It is not very acceptable to stay together in ahouse before marriage in eastern country but it is well accepted in western country. This is most probably the same when it comes to sin. How can we determine whether the act we had done is a sin or not is very much depend on how the community look on the action. For example is gluttony. Most of friend said that I am wasting my money for the food and they seem to not accept the way I buy my food. Well, I think that it is okie as I think I can really finished the food. However if we are full and we still force ourselves to finished up the food is also wrong. We are making our body to suffer later.
An action is said to be sin or not is very much depend on how you feel and think when you do the action and not what other people said about your act. This seems to be very self centered and I admit it that I am a person that very self centered and I do not really care about what other people said about me. For me, they just can see the physical me and never the inner me. However, I do not mean that we can be that self centered till kill other people is correct. Be rational and be strong on what you believe in. just let the community busy with their so called moral values and civics. The most important is still how you think about your act….
Some of the sins named in his post I know it very well, some of them I need to search through dictionary to know exactly the meaning. Shame on me…however, I still wanna share this with you all.
From the listed sins, the following table shows the explanation: (all from Longman Dictionary)
LUST:
This is a feeling that I think I owned very much. I always have a strong desire to have something in my life. I want to be happy, I want to life a very prosperous life where there are no worries and no faulty. However, this is a feeling listed as a sin. I am wondering. How sinful it is to have lust for happiness and prosperity….
Gluttony & Greed:
I think I have this as well sin because I seldom eat a lot but I will buy a lot of food and drinks. Usually I cannot finish them and then last destination of the food will be in the rubbish bin. I am not sure of why but I will buy all the food that I think I will eat. However, when I really want to start eating I will feel full looking at all those foods. It is large wastage. I know it very well but I cannot stop myself. This is what called greed. I am greedy for more foods and drinks. However I cannot finish them and throw them into the rubbish bin. This is pure greed not for power and money but is in sanitation.
I am pretty sure that I do not greed for power as I do not like to hold power in my ability. I feel very uneasy because those who has power in his or her ability will always need to make decision. I do not greed for money too. I never look money as everything in my life but it is part of the needs to survive. I never ask for more money as I do not think I need it. I can life a simple life as I wanted too. Do not need any extra money…
SLOTH
This is very true about me. I am very lazy. Too lazy till sometimes I keep on conflicting with the inner me. I do not know why but sometimes I really want to just lay down and do nothing for a few days, a few weeks and months and years…however, I cannot stand for the boredom too. Thus, I also do not know what I really want….
WRATH
I am a person that can be easily light up. A simple thing can make me furious and full of anger. A little pressure in life will make me see thing is fire. I seldom cool down when my anger had visited me. It takes times longer than a month for me to really relese all my anger. Or else I need to be alone in some place to find back the calamity in my life…or else most of my friend will get scold from me….bad bad me…
ENVY
I do have envy deep in myself. This feeling is always there for me. As I look on other people success I will not feel jealous but I really envy his or her successfulness. I hope I am he or she and stand there being awarded or being praised. I hoep that I am an working fellah so that I can owned my own house, my own car and other possessions when I look at those working adult. I used to had this feeling at a very young age of 10 I bet…
PRIDE
I do not like the feeling of pride. Whenever I had something to be proud of, I will keep it so that no people know about it. I do not like people to know about my success because I feel ashamed. Most of them will think that I am just showing off with pride. So I think I do not really have the pride. Thus, not long ago I had lost myself. I do not know what is the point I struggle for my study and other stuuf because I do not really like the feeling of pride….
Actually, the point I share this seven sins is not tho show to you guys that the sins and the effect of having these kind of feeling. I just want to point out that, the so said sins actually is very depend on how the community look at the moral values nowadays. It is not very acceptable to stay together in ahouse before marriage in eastern country but it is well accepted in western country. This is most probably the same when it comes to sin. How can we determine whether the act we had done is a sin or not is very much depend on how the community look on the action. For example is gluttony. Most of friend said that I am wasting my money for the food and they seem to not accept the way I buy my food. Well, I think that it is okie as I think I can really finished the food. However if we are full and we still force ourselves to finished up the food is also wrong. We are making our body to suffer later.
An action is said to be sin or not is very much depend on how you feel and think when you do the action and not what other people said about your act. This seems to be very self centered and I admit it that I am a person that very self centered and I do not really care about what other people said about me. For me, they just can see the physical me and never the inner me. However, I do not mean that we can be that self centered till kill other people is correct. Be rational and be strong on what you believe in. just let the community busy with their so called moral values and civics. The most important is still how you think about your act….
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
What is supposedly to happened to the world in the future?
Recently the new movie of Resident Evil 4 had being on screen. I had watched it and totally amazed and scared by the sudden highly sounded effect. Nevertheless, the story line was quite interesting. It talks about how the little group of tiny mankind survived through the man-made-apocalypse. They had being very determinant and know exactly that they want to survive through the tragic. It is supposedly that the determination of mankind will result in something good for its own civilization. However, the situation doesn’t seem to be like this.
Just like in the movie, the mankind determination is far beyond their expectation. There are some of the mankind that are very determine to do something even though he or she knows the price that he or she need to give off. Of course this kind of people is too intelligent and capable to paying the price for their determination. What happened next is the suffering of the other mankind that had nothing to do with it. It happened to be like this. As we can seen from the movie, there are certain people that still strive to continue his project and making others to pay for its consequences. They knew that their determination will harm and kill others but they do not seem to care much about it. The result of their determination is matter all the way.
Well, the movie is not much I am going to talk about. It is mankind determination that I am going to talk about. Well, I bet all of us had heard the incident where a very helpless mother able to raise up a car to save her child. I am not sure where and when this incident had happened but I am pretty sure that this had happened before. This is the good part of mankind determination. It is to save others lives. Or maybe I can say that the mother is pretty lucky.
I bet if the fellah under the car is not her child I do not think that she will be able to raise the car. Shall I say that if it was not her child, I do not think that she will bother to touch the car anyways? Well, she does not has the determination to save the fellah under the car if that fellah is not her child.
Actually, God had given us enough to survive through as the highest ranking organism in the world. One of it is our determination. When we are determined enough we are able to survive. Not just that we are able to bring other together with us and walk through our life time. There are times when an individual give up their determination and walk through their life time like a living corpse. There are some out there. Although they are very successful in life but they feel just like a living dead corpse. Their determination to live for another day had reached the zero line.
We find our determination in all ways. Doesn’t matter whether it comes from an incident or it comes from someone. All it matter is how are we going to deal with our determination. Most of the people are saying that the end of the world is coming. I had heard that for almost 13 years. It is still not happening but people are making it real. Isn’t it amazing? Mankinds are so determine that one day apocalypse will emerge and everything will be gone. They even predicted how the end of the world is going to happen. This situation is as if we are begging and hoping to die and extinct from the world very soon. This is funny……
Well, if we are that determinant to die, there is no point you are breathing at this moment. If you are hoping for the end of the world, then there is no point spending for your food. Why don’t you just lay down and close your eyes and just sleep through your life time.
It is true that in most religious they believe that one day Dooms day will come and all of us will be dead and being judged. We got to know that Dooms day is arriving so that we can live the best of the best in our everydays life. No doubt, we must be very determinant. All of us know that the Mother Nature is terribly sick but not aggressive steps were taken to heal her. So, are we determining enough to survive or determine enough to welcome the Dooms day? Think about it…..
Just like in the movie, the mankind determination is far beyond their expectation. There are some of the mankind that are very determine to do something even though he or she knows the price that he or she need to give off. Of course this kind of people is too intelligent and capable to paying the price for their determination. What happened next is the suffering of the other mankind that had nothing to do with it. It happened to be like this. As we can seen from the movie, there are certain people that still strive to continue his project and making others to pay for its consequences. They knew that their determination will harm and kill others but they do not seem to care much about it. The result of their determination is matter all the way.
Well, the movie is not much I am going to talk about. It is mankind determination that I am going to talk about. Well, I bet all of us had heard the incident where a very helpless mother able to raise up a car to save her child. I am not sure where and when this incident had happened but I am pretty sure that this had happened before. This is the good part of mankind determination. It is to save others lives. Or maybe I can say that the mother is pretty lucky.
I bet if the fellah under the car is not her child I do not think that she will be able to raise the car. Shall I say that if it was not her child, I do not think that she will bother to touch the car anyways? Well, she does not has the determination to save the fellah under the car if that fellah is not her child.
Actually, God had given us enough to survive through as the highest ranking organism in the world. One of it is our determination. When we are determined enough we are able to survive. Not just that we are able to bring other together with us and walk through our life time. There are times when an individual give up their determination and walk through their life time like a living corpse. There are some out there. Although they are very successful in life but they feel just like a living dead corpse. Their determination to live for another day had reached the zero line.
We find our determination in all ways. Doesn’t matter whether it comes from an incident or it comes from someone. All it matter is how are we going to deal with our determination. Most of the people are saying that the end of the world is coming. I had heard that for almost 13 years. It is still not happening but people are making it real. Isn’t it amazing? Mankinds are so determine that one day apocalypse will emerge and everything will be gone. They even predicted how the end of the world is going to happen. This situation is as if we are begging and hoping to die and extinct from the world very soon. This is funny……
Well, if we are that determinant to die, there is no point you are breathing at this moment. If you are hoping for the end of the world, then there is no point spending for your food. Why don’t you just lay down and close your eyes and just sleep through your life time.
It is true that in most religious they believe that one day Dooms day will come and all of us will be dead and being judged. We got to know that Dooms day is arriving so that we can live the best of the best in our everydays life. No doubt, we must be very determinant. All of us know that the Mother Nature is terribly sick but not aggressive steps were taken to heal her. So, are we determining enough to survive or determine enough to welcome the Dooms day? Think about it…..
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Something very impressive my mom said this holiday…
This season greeting, I had spent the most time at home with my family. After all, we had being travelling from the day I am home until the day they sent me back to college. It is fascinating and impressive but at the same time tiring and physically suffered. I remember very well that in one of the day trip my mom had said this in the car: well, after so many years of hard works, now I am just an old hen without much fur on my body.
Well, I was so deeply touched by her words. Suddenly, I had so much to feel about my mom. Actually her phrase was made after my dad said that they both (my parents) seldom go for vacation if there is no special event. My mom felt that her existence is priceless. Nevertheless, she felt that her husband will just bring her to vacation if the children are home. That is why she felt that she is a hen without much fur on her body. After all the hard works in supporting the four little chicks (me and my siblings) to be adult, her existence is no longer much important to the cock (my dad).
This is my parents conversation in the car that day…I remember it very well…
Dad: Haiya, you aren’t that priceless la. I also got bring you walk here and there ma
Mom: Yes lorh….if your son did not come back, I was nowhere to go. You will always said that it is boring to face you everywhere.
Dad: You said it is hot and humid put there. So, better watch movie at home.
Mom: hmm…after you said that you are boring to see my face, what else can I said??? Last time, when all of them (me and my siblings) are still kids, you will always bring us here and there. Now I know why…it is because I can help you to guard the kids and take care of them. It is like a hen with the chicks around her. Now, when all the chicks are grown up, the cock no longer need the hen to take care of the chick and can simply go for a walk without the hen…
All of us were silent in the car and have a small smile on our face. The statement is quiet funny and yet it is quiet true I bet. When we used to be kids, mom will always be by our side. It doesn’t matter what the event is and what the problem is. She is always there for the kids. Just like the chicks and the hen. Have you ever question whether it is the chicks that follow the hen or the hen that follow her chicks. I can tell you the answer that the hen is always following the chicks. You can ask the Kampung people. They knew that the best was to capture the hen is just simply trap one of the little chick in the barn. The hen will turn round and round the barn with other chicks.
It is the same in our daily life. Mom will never leave their children. However, when the children had grown up to be an adult, it is not necessary that they will always be there for the mother. This is not a rules or a course that must be followed but it is the reality that most of us is practicing.
When we were kid, whenever we are sick, our mom will be the one which is most worried. Never to forget about our dad as well. However, a mom effort does more than dad. She will find the correct medicine and the best physician to heal us. This is not that obvious in a normal kid life. You can see it in the pediatric department of most of the hospital. Most of the mother that has a child administer in this department is actually a half professional nurse. They will know when and what medicine the patient should take. When is the time to take the temperature, when is the time for blood test and other things that a nurse will do. Mom is not just doing it but they can be doubling more professional that a nurse can be.
Every mom thinks that their children deserve anything that available in their ability. I had seen a mother with an Down syndrome son. I bet her son is around his twenties. She brings her Down syndrome son to a five-star-hotel for swimming in the swimming pool there. She doesn’t care what other people will think about her son. I can see from this mother that she always think that her son deserve everything that a normal kid can have. Her face is very determinant and she knew that her son has nothing much different from other kids. Out of a sudden, I feel so touched. I think back what my mom had did for me. It is actually the same. The entire mother in this world is just the same. Sacrificing for their kids but not asking anything back.
However, when the kid grown up. The situation will be a little bit different. The child that the mother sacrifices for is not the mother or the father of another kid. He or she learns to sacrifice for his or her son and slowly forgetting the one that had sacrifice for them previously. At this moment, the mother (which is now grandmother) will need someone in return as a company. Who will that be? The answer will be her husband.
After all these years of bringing up the children, when they are all adult, the best companion will never be you r children but it is your wife or your husband. My mom will always told me that, one day me and my siblings will have our own life and family but not her or her husband that come into concern. When I first heard that I thought my mom was just playing some tricks so that next time we will look after her. But now I found out that this is very true. She knows that very well. The mom that I used to think is just an simple woman that just know how to cook at home actually had a wisdom which is far more better than me who is in university. She just finished her primary school.
After all, now is her best time. Like she said, it is actually the time for her and her husband to honeymoon and did the things and go the place that they long for. As the son of my parents, all I hope is that they will be happily ever after.
P/S: no one will know when is his or her time to leave this world. Thus, it is best to spent all the precious time available with our beloved one as much as possible because they are gone they really gne. Not just the person that is gone but all the going to be sweet memories will not happened….
Well, I was so deeply touched by her words. Suddenly, I had so much to feel about my mom. Actually her phrase was made after my dad said that they both (my parents) seldom go for vacation if there is no special event. My mom felt that her existence is priceless. Nevertheless, she felt that her husband will just bring her to vacation if the children are home. That is why she felt that she is a hen without much fur on her body. After all the hard works in supporting the four little chicks (me and my siblings) to be adult, her existence is no longer much important to the cock (my dad).
This is my parents conversation in the car that day…I remember it very well…
Dad: Haiya, you aren’t that priceless la. I also got bring you walk here and there ma
Mom: Yes lorh….if your son did not come back, I was nowhere to go. You will always said that it is boring to face you everywhere.
Dad: You said it is hot and humid put there. So, better watch movie at home.
Mom: hmm…after you said that you are boring to see my face, what else can I said??? Last time, when all of them (me and my siblings) are still kids, you will always bring us here and there. Now I know why…it is because I can help you to guard the kids and take care of them. It is like a hen with the chicks around her. Now, when all the chicks are grown up, the cock no longer need the hen to take care of the chick and can simply go for a walk without the hen…
All of us were silent in the car and have a small smile on our face. The statement is quiet funny and yet it is quiet true I bet. When we used to be kids, mom will always be by our side. It doesn’t matter what the event is and what the problem is. She is always there for the kids. Just like the chicks and the hen. Have you ever question whether it is the chicks that follow the hen or the hen that follow her chicks. I can tell you the answer that the hen is always following the chicks. You can ask the Kampung people. They knew that the best was to capture the hen is just simply trap one of the little chick in the barn. The hen will turn round and round the barn with other chicks.
It is the same in our daily life. Mom will never leave their children. However, when the children had grown up to be an adult, it is not necessary that they will always be there for the mother. This is not a rules or a course that must be followed but it is the reality that most of us is practicing.
When we were kid, whenever we are sick, our mom will be the one which is most worried. Never to forget about our dad as well. However, a mom effort does more than dad. She will find the correct medicine and the best physician to heal us. This is not that obvious in a normal kid life. You can see it in the pediatric department of most of the hospital. Most of the mother that has a child administer in this department is actually a half professional nurse. They will know when and what medicine the patient should take. When is the time to take the temperature, when is the time for blood test and other things that a nurse will do. Mom is not just doing it but they can be doubling more professional that a nurse can be.
Every mom thinks that their children deserve anything that available in their ability. I had seen a mother with an Down syndrome son. I bet her son is around his twenties. She brings her Down syndrome son to a five-star-hotel for swimming in the swimming pool there. She doesn’t care what other people will think about her son. I can see from this mother that she always think that her son deserve everything that a normal kid can have. Her face is very determinant and she knew that her son has nothing much different from other kids. Out of a sudden, I feel so touched. I think back what my mom had did for me. It is actually the same. The entire mother in this world is just the same. Sacrificing for their kids but not asking anything back.
However, when the kid grown up. The situation will be a little bit different. The child that the mother sacrifices for is not the mother or the father of another kid. He or she learns to sacrifice for his or her son and slowly forgetting the one that had sacrifice for them previously. At this moment, the mother (which is now grandmother) will need someone in return as a company. Who will that be? The answer will be her husband.
After all these years of bringing up the children, when they are all adult, the best companion will never be you r children but it is your wife or your husband. My mom will always told me that, one day me and my siblings will have our own life and family but not her or her husband that come into concern. When I first heard that I thought my mom was just playing some tricks so that next time we will look after her. But now I found out that this is very true. She knows that very well. The mom that I used to think is just an simple woman that just know how to cook at home actually had a wisdom which is far more better than me who is in university. She just finished her primary school.
After all, now is her best time. Like she said, it is actually the time for her and her husband to honeymoon and did the things and go the place that they long for. As the son of my parents, all I hope is that they will be happily ever after.
P/S: no one will know when is his or her time to leave this world. Thus, it is best to spent all the precious time available with our beloved one as much as possible because they are gone they really gne. Not just the person that is gone but all the going to be sweet memories will not happened….
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Memories - worth to keep?
memories can be bitter can be sweet....can be sour can be tasteless...to keep memories meaning to keep some certain feeling to ourselves...it is the feeling that created when we were together with others...it is the feeling when we look at something...the feeling does feel very good at the moment we had found it...but the feeling is not necessary to feel good when we recall it back...usually during recalling tyme...we will have other feeling mixed up together...
yu ffel pain and teribly sad when yu look at your newly born abay...yu swear to yourself..."i am not going to give birth anymore..." a few years later..."owh...i am pregnant again..." well, during that few years...the feeling of sad and pain when delivering come and go...yu feel it is teribly pain...but yu feel enjoyable...ahaks...
at the very moment...of course the feeling for certain memories is very strong...but when we calm down...or after some times...the feeling for that certain memories will be changed or altered...
so...my questions is...worth to keep memories that will not maintain its original feeling?
haha...i do not know...but i like to forget all the momories and incident i had seen today....to start a new tomolo...but i just never make it...ahahahahah....
yu ffel pain and teribly sad when yu look at your newly born abay...yu swear to yourself..."i am not going to give birth anymore..." a few years later..."owh...i am pregnant again..." well, during that few years...the feeling of sad and pain when delivering come and go...yu feel it is teribly pain...but yu feel enjoyable...ahaks...
at the very moment...of course the feeling for certain memories is very strong...but when we calm down...or after some times...the feeling for that certain memories will be changed or altered...
so...my questions is...worth to keep memories that will not maintain its original feeling?
haha...i do not know...but i like to forget all the momories and incident i had seen today....to start a new tomolo...but i just never make it...ahahahahah....
Friday, August 20, 2010
Love the feeling and not really the person....
There are a few quotes which is very important to us. The very first I knew is the quote: money is everything. As I grown up, I had realized that money is not everything but without money you can do nothing. This had been so true in my life. Money really not everything but sometimes when I had come to a state where I lack of money, I realize that without money, I cannot do anything. Do you think you can survive in today’s community without a cent in your pocket? Begging for food or die of hunger? I think you have your own answer. Malaysia is the same in terms of reality; nothing much different from other developing country or moral – depleting country.
Well, when it comes to love. I had got myself to know that love is a need for everyone but not all of us are able to have it. Sometimes, when I saw a couple holding hand, I use to think: how long will they be able to hold their hands together that tightly? I never believe in true love because I know that no matter how much you love a person, the feeling will soon deplete and you will need to find another person to love with. However, recent incident had made a very different view for me.
When a couple holds their hands together, it is very dependent on each of the couple to hold it. My second sister had got married a few weeks ago. I saw her picture with her husband. At that moment, I thought to myself that how long can she be in the happily ever after state as I can seen on her face. I had being very negative on that all these while. However, when it comes to me, I am nothing much different from my second sister.
When we are in love or we hold the hand of the person that we think we can rely on for the rest of your life, we had gambled our destiny on that person. At the same time, he or she that we relied on also gambled his or her destiny on us. Well, this gambling is a large bet. Once you lose, you lost most of your everything. Your family, your happiness and of course your tiny fracture of your life. Maybe I am wrong; a large fragment of your life and memories will be destroyed by the loosing of this gambling. If you think you had win the gambling and you can have your price of happily ever after, I can ensure you that you are just day dreaming. This is because love between two people is very fracture. It can build u easily and it can break down double speed as it builds up.
Seems to give up in love actually but there is another view in love. Love between two people is very fragile. This is very true as you can see in a marriage couple with children. They can divorce after a night of quarrel or maybe they can break up due to a slippage in a dinner night. However, the love in each of the couple is very strong. Although they had divorce, the feeling in each of them for the other is still very deep and lovely. This might be due to the feeling of existence for the time that they had been together. We had used to the existence of that person in our lives. Nevertheless, we do not really want him or her to be out of sight, out of mind. This is rarely happened. Believe it or not, when a couple divorce, they sit, they eat, they drink or even they sleep…the memories of them being together always pop up in their mind. Some called this as memories but I call this as a feeling of loss.
At the moment we had bonded up with a person, we had started to accumulate the memories in our memories. We had gather all the feelings, things, mood, whether and all those happening things, dead or living materials into our memories. At that moment, the person that we love is the person that we hold his or her hand. However, after sometimes we are no longer love that person we hold our hand with. Instead, we love the feeling of his existence beside us. We love it when he or she beside us when we had dinner. We love it when he or she beside us when we watch movie. We love it when he or she is beside us when we sleep. The feeling of his or her existence had already taken a very firm place in our heart and this place is hardly can be replace by other. There is an acceptance for this feeling among those Casanova… dun be mistaken, the male or female whore sometime had a even greater deeper love feeling than a highly status woman or man…
I had fallen in love with this particular person (#) and we had broken up after being together for 2 years. After the cool period of breaking down, I had found out the feeling I had written above. I do not know whether I love # anymore or not but all I know is that I love the feeling of # existence in my life…to #, I really hope that we can be together for the rest of our lives. Although I knew that it is some sort impossible for you, but I really hope that day will come…
Well, when it comes to love. I had got myself to know that love is a need for everyone but not all of us are able to have it. Sometimes, when I saw a couple holding hand, I use to think: how long will they be able to hold their hands together that tightly? I never believe in true love because I know that no matter how much you love a person, the feeling will soon deplete and you will need to find another person to love with. However, recent incident had made a very different view for me.
When a couple holds their hands together, it is very dependent on each of the couple to hold it. My second sister had got married a few weeks ago. I saw her picture with her husband. At that moment, I thought to myself that how long can she be in the happily ever after state as I can seen on her face. I had being very negative on that all these while. However, when it comes to me, I am nothing much different from my second sister.
When we are in love or we hold the hand of the person that we think we can rely on for the rest of your life, we had gambled our destiny on that person. At the same time, he or she that we relied on also gambled his or her destiny on us. Well, this gambling is a large bet. Once you lose, you lost most of your everything. Your family, your happiness and of course your tiny fracture of your life. Maybe I am wrong; a large fragment of your life and memories will be destroyed by the loosing of this gambling. If you think you had win the gambling and you can have your price of happily ever after, I can ensure you that you are just day dreaming. This is because love between two people is very fracture. It can build u easily and it can break down double speed as it builds up.
Seems to give up in love actually but there is another view in love. Love between two people is very fragile. This is very true as you can see in a marriage couple with children. They can divorce after a night of quarrel or maybe they can break up due to a slippage in a dinner night. However, the love in each of the couple is very strong. Although they had divorce, the feeling in each of them for the other is still very deep and lovely. This might be due to the feeling of existence for the time that they had been together. We had used to the existence of that person in our lives. Nevertheless, we do not really want him or her to be out of sight, out of mind. This is rarely happened. Believe it or not, when a couple divorce, they sit, they eat, they drink or even they sleep…the memories of them being together always pop up in their mind. Some called this as memories but I call this as a feeling of loss.
At the moment we had bonded up with a person, we had started to accumulate the memories in our memories. We had gather all the feelings, things, mood, whether and all those happening things, dead or living materials into our memories. At that moment, the person that we love is the person that we hold his or her hand. However, after sometimes we are no longer love that person we hold our hand with. Instead, we love the feeling of his existence beside us. We love it when he or she beside us when we had dinner. We love it when he or she beside us when we watch movie. We love it when he or she is beside us when we sleep. The feeling of his or her existence had already taken a very firm place in our heart and this place is hardly can be replace by other. There is an acceptance for this feeling among those Casanova… dun be mistaken, the male or female whore sometime had a even greater deeper love feeling than a highly status woman or man…
I had fallen in love with this particular person (#) and we had broken up after being together for 2 years. After the cool period of breaking down, I had found out the feeling I had written above. I do not know whether I love # anymore or not but all I know is that I love the feeling of # existence in my life…to #, I really hope that we can be together for the rest of our lives. Although I knew that it is some sort impossible for you, but I really hope that day will come…
Love the feeling and not really the person....
There are a few quotes which is very important to us. The very first I knew is the quote: money is everything. As I grown up, I had realized that money is not everything but without money you can do nothing. This had been so true in my life. Money really not everything but sometimes when I had come to a state where I lack of money, I realize that without money, I cannot do anything. Do you think you can survive in today’s community without a cent in your pocket? Begging for food or die of hunger? I think you have your own answer. Malaysia is the same in terms of reality; nothing much different from other developing country or moral – depleting country.
Well, when it comes to love. I had got myself to know that love is a need for everyone but not all of us are able to have it. Sometimes, when I saw a couple holding hand, I use to think: how long will they be able to hold their hands together that tightly? I never believe in true love because I know that no matter how much you love a person, the feeling will soon deplete and you will need to find another person to love with. However, recent incident had made a very different view for me.
When a couple holds their hands together, it is very dependent on each of the couple to hold it. My second sister had got married a few weeks ago. I saw her picture with her husband. At that moment, I thought to myself that how long can she be in the happily ever after state as I can seen on her face. I had being very negative on that all these while. However, when it comes to me, I am nothing much different from my second sister.
When we are in love or we hold the hand of the person that we think we can rely on for the rest of your life, we had gambled our destiny on that person. At the same time, he or she that we relied on also gambled his or her destiny on us. Well, this gambling is a large bet. Once you lose, you lost most of your everything. Your family, your happiness and of course your tiny fracture of your life. Maybe I am wrong; a large fragment of your life and memories will be destroyed by the loosing of this gambling. If you think you had win the gambling and you can have your price of happily ever after, I can ensure you that you are just day dreaming. This is because love between two people is very fracture. It can build u easily and it can break down double speed as it builds up.
Seems to give up in love actually but there is another view in love. Love between two people is very fragile. This is very true as you can see in a marriage couple with children. They can divorce after a night of quarrel or maybe they can break up due to a slippage in a dinner night. However, the love in each of the couple is very strong. Although they had divorce, the feeling in each of them for the other is still very deep and lovely. This might be due to the feeling of existence for the time that they had been together. We had used to the existence of that person in our lives. Nevertheless, we do not really want him or her to be out of sight, out of mind. This is rarely happened. Believe it or not, when a couple divorce, they sit, they eat, they drink or even they sleep…the memories of them being together always pop up in their mind. Some called this as memories but I call this as a feeling of loss.
At the moment we had bonded up with a person, we had started to accumulate the memories in our memories. We had gather all the feelings, things, mood, whether and all those happening things, dead or living materials into our memories. At that moment, the person that we love is the person that we hold his or her hand. However, after sometimes we are no longer love that person we hold our hand with. Instead, we love the feeling of his existence beside us. We love it when he or she beside us when we had dinner. We love it when he or she beside us when we watch movie. We love it when he or she is beside us when we sleep. The feeling of his or her existence had already taken a very firm place in our heart and this place is hardly can be replace by other. There is an acceptance for this feeling among those Casanova… dun be mistaken, the male or female whore sometime had a even greater deeper love feeling than a highly status woman or man…
I had fallen in love with this particular person (#) and we had broken up after being together for 2 years. After the cool period of breaking down, I had found out the feeling I had written above. I do not know whether I love # anymore or not but all I know is that I love the feeling of # existence in my life…to #, I really hope that we can be together for the rest of our lives. Although I knew that it is some sort impossible for you, but I really hope that day will come…
Well, when it comes to love. I had got myself to know that love is a need for everyone but not all of us are able to have it. Sometimes, when I saw a couple holding hand, I use to think: how long will they be able to hold their hands together that tightly? I never believe in true love because I know that no matter how much you love a person, the feeling will soon deplete and you will need to find another person to love with. However, recent incident had made a very different view for me.
When a couple holds their hands together, it is very dependent on each of the couple to hold it. My second sister had got married a few weeks ago. I saw her picture with her husband. At that moment, I thought to myself that how long can she be in the happily ever after state as I can seen on her face. I had being very negative on that all these while. However, when it comes to me, I am nothing much different from my second sister.
When we are in love or we hold the hand of the person that we think we can rely on for the rest of your life, we had gambled our destiny on that person. At the same time, he or she that we relied on also gambled his or her destiny on us. Well, this gambling is a large bet. Once you lose, you lost most of your everything. Your family, your happiness and of course your tiny fracture of your life. Maybe I am wrong; a large fragment of your life and memories will be destroyed by the loosing of this gambling. If you think you had win the gambling and you can have your price of happily ever after, I can ensure you that you are just day dreaming. This is because love between two people is very fracture. It can build u easily and it can break down double speed as it builds up.
Seems to give up in love actually but there is another view in love. Love between two people is very fragile. This is very true as you can see in a marriage couple with children. They can divorce after a night of quarrel or maybe they can break up due to a slippage in a dinner night. However, the love in each of the couple is very strong. Although they had divorce, the feeling in each of them for the other is still very deep and lovely. This might be due to the feeling of existence for the time that they had been together. We had used to the existence of that person in our lives. Nevertheless, we do not really want him or her to be out of sight, out of mind. This is rarely happened. Believe it or not, when a couple divorce, they sit, they eat, they drink or even they sleep…the memories of them being together always pop up in their mind. Some called this as memories but I call this as a feeling of loss.
At the moment we had bonded up with a person, we had started to accumulate the memories in our memories. We had gather all the feelings, things, mood, whether and all those happening things, dead or living materials into our memories. At that moment, the person that we love is the person that we hold his or her hand. However, after sometimes we are no longer love that person we hold our hand with. Instead, we love the feeling of his existence beside us. We love it when he or she beside us when we had dinner. We love it when he or she beside us when we watch movie. We love it when he or she is beside us when we sleep. The feeling of his or her existence had already taken a very firm place in our heart and this place is hardly can be replace by other. There is an acceptance for this feeling among those Casanova… dun be mistaken, the male or female whore sometime had a even greater deeper love feeling than a highly status woman or man…
I had fallen in love with this particular person (#) and we had broken up after being together for 2 years. After the cool period of breaking down, I had found out the feeling I had written above. I do not know whether I love # anymore or not but all I know is that I love the feeling of # existence in my life…to #, I really hope that we can be together for the rest of our lives. Although I knew that it is some sort impossible for you, but I really hope that day will come…
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Antara mencari dan menemui….
Hidup kita yang dikatakan singkat ini Nampak macam tidak singkat tapi pada masa yang sama juga merupakan satu tempoh yang panjang…tiada saper – saper yang dapat menentukan sama ada hidup adalah panjang atau pendek. Ramai juga yang tidak pernah pikirkan persoalan ini juga sebab bagi mereka memikirkan adalah satu pembaziran tenaga. Semua ini adalah betul apabila seseorang individu itu belum menemui kehidupan di mana dier tidak perlu mencari dan menunggu untuk menemui apa yang diingini.
Sering kali dalam hidup, kita akan mencari dan mengusahakan sesuatu untuk menhiasi hidup kita. Tidak lain tidak bukan, secara umumnya umat manusia sentiasa mencari impiam, harapan dan juga keinginan…selagi mereka tidak menemuinya, mereka akan mencari dan mencari. Namun apabila mereka dah menemui, perkara itu tidak semestinyer alaah sesuatu yang mengembirakan. Hal ini kerana menemui apa yang dicarikan selama ini mungkin akan memberikan nokhtah titik kepada makna kehidupan kelak.
Ada juga sesetengah pihak yang akan bergembira selepas menemui perkara yang ingin dicarikan. Namun sejauh mana kegembiraan itu akan membawa individu itu dan kegembiraan itu akan bertahan sementara atau akan berkekalan. Semestinya jawa[annya adalah sementara. Tiada perkara yang akan berkekalan di dunia ini.
Apbila kita mencari sesuatu, kita akan menentukan apa yang kami ingin temui nanti…namun setiap pencarian itu tidak semestinya menjamin kita akan menemui apa yang kami inginkan. Kadang kala, walaupon tidak menjumpai apa yang kami ingin temui, kita sebenarnya menemui perkara lain yang tidak didugakan. Jadi, apakah maknanya pencarian sedangkan perkara yang ingin dicari tidak semestinya adalah perkara yang akan dan ingin ditemui….
Dalam persoalan cinta, kita sering kali ingin mencari jodoh yang benar…ingin menemui takdir yang sebenar…ingin menjumpai orang yang kami benar – benar cintai. Namun selepas menemuinya, kita akan bergembira tetapi tidak akan berpanjangan. Cinta sejati yang dianggap telah ditemui itu sebenarnya tidak memberikan jaminan sepanjang umur. Kadang kala, dalam mencari pasangan yang sejati dan takdir yang sepatutnya, kita akan menemui diri kita yang berlainan dan mencarikan pasangan yang berlainan…jadi apakah maknanya nanti sekiranya pasangan ideal itu sudah ditemui….
Sering kali dalam hidup, kita akan mencari dan mengusahakan sesuatu untuk menhiasi hidup kita. Tidak lain tidak bukan, secara umumnya umat manusia sentiasa mencari impiam, harapan dan juga keinginan…selagi mereka tidak menemuinya, mereka akan mencari dan mencari. Namun apabila mereka dah menemui, perkara itu tidak semestinyer alaah sesuatu yang mengembirakan. Hal ini kerana menemui apa yang dicarikan selama ini mungkin akan memberikan nokhtah titik kepada makna kehidupan kelak.
Ada juga sesetengah pihak yang akan bergembira selepas menemui perkara yang ingin dicarikan. Namun sejauh mana kegembiraan itu akan membawa individu itu dan kegembiraan itu akan bertahan sementara atau akan berkekalan. Semestinya jawa[annya adalah sementara. Tiada perkara yang akan berkekalan di dunia ini.
Apbila kita mencari sesuatu, kita akan menentukan apa yang kami ingin temui nanti…namun setiap pencarian itu tidak semestinya menjamin kita akan menemui apa yang kami inginkan. Kadang kala, walaupon tidak menjumpai apa yang kami ingin temui, kita sebenarnya menemui perkara lain yang tidak didugakan. Jadi, apakah maknanya pencarian sedangkan perkara yang ingin dicari tidak semestinya adalah perkara yang akan dan ingin ditemui….
Dalam persoalan cinta, kita sering kali ingin mencari jodoh yang benar…ingin menemui takdir yang sebenar…ingin menjumpai orang yang kami benar – benar cintai. Namun selepas menemuinya, kita akan bergembira tetapi tidak akan berpanjangan. Cinta sejati yang dianggap telah ditemui itu sebenarnya tidak memberikan jaminan sepanjang umur. Kadang kala, dalam mencari pasangan yang sejati dan takdir yang sepatutnya, kita akan menemui diri kita yang berlainan dan mencarikan pasangan yang berlainan…jadi apakah maknanya nanti sekiranya pasangan ideal itu sudah ditemui….
Thursday, August 5, 2010
four seasons and a result of living body without a soul....
Most of us will ask whether winter come first of summer come first…no one will know the answer because the first person who watch this flow of the four seasons eventually not going to remember it…I bet during the formation of the seasons in the four seasons country, the first person who experience the four seasons never tends to remember it…they some sort like it is just something normal that they had to go through. Nothing much to be remember and it will be something that will be bring down towards the generations.
As for me…the four seasons are just like a love relationship. If you ask me which (summer or winter) comes first…I will said that the winter started first. In a relationship, it started with the coldness. Each individual have a very cold hearted for their feeling. No much love had been put into their heart. Nevertheless, they feel very empty but they do not know it by themselves. This is what we cal as the teenage stage. Thus, they tend to find something to fill in the emptiness. Then later we named it as puppy love. It is a kind of reaction where the teenage try to mature up the emptiness by filling it with the temporary love feeling…however, those love feeling shall never fill up the emptiness for most of the individuals. Thus, it is always end up with in a break up relationship. Although it is a puppy love but it is still the first love in an individual’s life and it is at the very bottom of the emptiness that needs to be filled. Thus, we so called the first love is the most unbearable love…it is the most unforgettable…well…normal…those at the bottom will always support those at the top no matter how big it was…
As time pass by, the spring is rolling in. In this season the mood turns up to be very temperate and lovely…the heat is moderate and caring. Just like in a love relationship. The now newly in love couples very tenderly to each other and loves each other in full force…that is spring… in spring the plants and flower started to bloom and spent their new life. Same thing happen to each individual of a couple. Each of them has a new aim and new plan for their life. It is a brand new life. As the season continues…the earth continues its spinning and move on, the temperature began to rise up. In a relationship, their temper is increasing for each other…their patient nevertheless fell increasing for each other as well…why? This is a very simple question to answer. When then temper of each other increases for each other in a relationship, the tolerance and the patient will as well needed to be doubled so that they can maintain the stability in the relationship, the tenderly heat and warmth slowly becoming lesser and lesser. For most of the couples, the tenderly heat such as the romances and the surprises getting worn out due to the increasing sunlight and heat.
Now the heat and the temperature had brings the couple into the summer. Now it is hot and timid. Sometimes it can be very warm that we can feel the aura from far….sometimes we cannot feel anything except the pain of our skin when the sun strikes. This is also very true in a relationship. In this period of a relationship, both individuals of a couple will sometimes feel the lovely feeling that each other pour in. However, most of the time they can feel the heat burning and frying up the body rather than the warmth they felt as what happened in the winter.
Then, the autumn comes making the view of the surrounding very sad. Most of the tree is losing their leaves. In a relationship, they had loss their sweet memories. They had forgotten how they come across each other. They had loss their temperament for each other. They loss their telepathic feel and sense for each other. It is just like a tree that loss its leaves day by day without any new leaves being produced. Soon the tree is just a naked trunk. In a relationship, both of the individuals stay together mostly by the bonding that had builds up throughout the winter, spring and summer. But it is lifeless, just like the naked tree trunk, living but without any sign of newborn leaves. Most of the green leaves that nourishes enough during the previous seasons had fallen down to the grave…everything seems to be cool and cold…
Now it comes back to winter again. Some of the couples are able to maintain their love for each other and they might find a new spring between themselves after all...however, most of them will need to find a need partner to meet the new spring. Whenever it reaches the winter, the emptiness feeling will be back. Due to the situation where you had have a love relationship before, the emptiness you feel in this winter is doubly worse…it is just like a living body without a soul.
This is how I describe the four season compare to a love relationship. It is very true that not every couple will go through these four seasons. Some of them really able to make it through and found a new spring between themselves but most of the cases, I think is not that lucky…if it is really that lucky then we won’t have so many divorce cases…
Hehe….my love life experience making and converting me into a living body without a soul now…..
For those who is on a date…appreciate each other and ensure the spring have a longer time for both of yu….good luck….
As for me…the four seasons are just like a love relationship. If you ask me which (summer or winter) comes first…I will said that the winter started first. In a relationship, it started with the coldness. Each individual have a very cold hearted for their feeling. No much love had been put into their heart. Nevertheless, they feel very empty but they do not know it by themselves. This is what we cal as the teenage stage. Thus, they tend to find something to fill in the emptiness. Then later we named it as puppy love. It is a kind of reaction where the teenage try to mature up the emptiness by filling it with the temporary love feeling…however, those love feeling shall never fill up the emptiness for most of the individuals. Thus, it is always end up with in a break up relationship. Although it is a puppy love but it is still the first love in an individual’s life and it is at the very bottom of the emptiness that needs to be filled. Thus, we so called the first love is the most unbearable love…it is the most unforgettable…well…normal…those at the bottom will always support those at the top no matter how big it was…
As time pass by, the spring is rolling in. In this season the mood turns up to be very temperate and lovely…the heat is moderate and caring. Just like in a love relationship. The now newly in love couples very tenderly to each other and loves each other in full force…that is spring… in spring the plants and flower started to bloom and spent their new life. Same thing happen to each individual of a couple. Each of them has a new aim and new plan for their life. It is a brand new life. As the season continues…the earth continues its spinning and move on, the temperature began to rise up. In a relationship, their temper is increasing for each other…their patient nevertheless fell increasing for each other as well…why? This is a very simple question to answer. When then temper of each other increases for each other in a relationship, the tolerance and the patient will as well needed to be doubled so that they can maintain the stability in the relationship, the tenderly heat and warmth slowly becoming lesser and lesser. For most of the couples, the tenderly heat such as the romances and the surprises getting worn out due to the increasing sunlight and heat.
Now the heat and the temperature had brings the couple into the summer. Now it is hot and timid. Sometimes it can be very warm that we can feel the aura from far….sometimes we cannot feel anything except the pain of our skin when the sun strikes. This is also very true in a relationship. In this period of a relationship, both individuals of a couple will sometimes feel the lovely feeling that each other pour in. However, most of the time they can feel the heat burning and frying up the body rather than the warmth they felt as what happened in the winter.
Then, the autumn comes making the view of the surrounding very sad. Most of the tree is losing their leaves. In a relationship, they had loss their sweet memories. They had forgotten how they come across each other. They had loss their temperament for each other. They loss their telepathic feel and sense for each other. It is just like a tree that loss its leaves day by day without any new leaves being produced. Soon the tree is just a naked trunk. In a relationship, both of the individuals stay together mostly by the bonding that had builds up throughout the winter, spring and summer. But it is lifeless, just like the naked tree trunk, living but without any sign of newborn leaves. Most of the green leaves that nourishes enough during the previous seasons had fallen down to the grave…everything seems to be cool and cold…
Now it comes back to winter again. Some of the couples are able to maintain their love for each other and they might find a new spring between themselves after all...however, most of them will need to find a need partner to meet the new spring. Whenever it reaches the winter, the emptiness feeling will be back. Due to the situation where you had have a love relationship before, the emptiness you feel in this winter is doubly worse…it is just like a living body without a soul.
This is how I describe the four season compare to a love relationship. It is very true that not every couple will go through these four seasons. Some of them really able to make it through and found a new spring between themselves but most of the cases, I think is not that lucky…if it is really that lucky then we won’t have so many divorce cases…
Hehe….my love life experience making and converting me into a living body without a soul now…..
For those who is on a date…appreciate each other and ensure the spring have a longer time for both of yu….good luck….
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I REALISE THAT I HAD GROWN UP...BUT TIME JUST CONTINUE TICKLING....
Just a few moment after work, i went to a stationery shop to photocopy some papers...the shop seem to be open and welcoming. However, when i slide open the door, the worker said it was closed and he continue watching his drama. i was so surprise, if he is not going to do any business, then what for he opened the shop...weird...
So i just went home without photocopy anything. I pass through a few boys...i think they are just around 15 to 17 years old - from my bare eye judgement...the are taking off their apron in front of their restaurant. I was wondering...
Last time, a few years back i used to think that cook who prepare my meal does matter at home, in a party or in a restaurant are usually older than me...the brother and sister usually prepare food for me...however, if i enter that restaurant just now, i bet my meal was prepared by the three teenage boys...hehe...
Then i started to feel it is very weird...but i come to realise one think that i had grown older...i was no longer the kiddo i used to be...when i was i kid, the cooks usually older than me...but this situation will seldom to occur nowadays and forever...i also realise that i am already 21 years old...growing older...many situation, life prospect and point of view start to be different... but deep inside my heart i am still the same...no wonder i will feel weird that the cook is younger than me...
However, from today onward i think i need to always tell myself that i had already starting to grow older and older...starting to enter the life as an adult...i need to change my mind to think like an adult...not as childish as before...but i just wondering: can i make it???
I am the youngest in my family...i used to be tame and spoilt not just by my mother but my sibling as well...can i really make myself more mature and strong??? i do not really know about it...haiz...how good it is if i can still be a young kids...nothing to worries and to trouble with...
I know time is tickling and moving without waiting for anyone...but sometimes i really hope that time can be reversed and i can be like the previous me again....
So i just went home without photocopy anything. I pass through a few boys...i think they are just around 15 to 17 years old - from my bare eye judgement...the are taking off their apron in front of their restaurant. I was wondering...
Last time, a few years back i used to think that cook who prepare my meal does matter at home, in a party or in a restaurant are usually older than me...the brother and sister usually prepare food for me...however, if i enter that restaurant just now, i bet my meal was prepared by the three teenage boys...hehe...
Then i started to feel it is very weird...but i come to realise one think that i had grown older...i was no longer the kiddo i used to be...when i was i kid, the cooks usually older than me...but this situation will seldom to occur nowadays and forever...i also realise that i am already 21 years old...growing older...many situation, life prospect and point of view start to be different... but deep inside my heart i am still the same...no wonder i will feel weird that the cook is younger than me...
However, from today onward i think i need to always tell myself that i had already starting to grow older and older...starting to enter the life as an adult...i need to change my mind to think like an adult...not as childish as before...but i just wondering: can i make it???
I am the youngest in my family...i used to be tame and spoilt not just by my mother but my sibling as well...can i really make myself more mature and strong??? i do not really know about it...haiz...how good it is if i can still be a young kids...nothing to worries and to trouble with...
I know time is tickling and moving without waiting for anyone...but sometimes i really hope that time can be reversed and i can be like the previous me again....
Thursday, April 8, 2010
"tinggal kenangan"
lagu ini amat menyayatkan hati saya....
setiap kali saya mendengar lagu ini saya akan memikirkan perpisahan saya dengan anda semua...kawan baik saya...tiga laki cun bio ambilan julai 2008...geng - geng cucuku...geng - geng adindaku...rakan jmk ku di KHAR...anak buah kesayangku di khar...selepas tamat pengajian di UPSi...selepas tamat sidang...selepas tamat segala mak nenek di UPSI...betol betol hanya tinggal kenangan sahaja....
Tajuk Lagu/Lirik: Tinggal Kenangan
Artis/Penyanyi: Saleem
Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan
Inginku lupakan semua tentang dirimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh bintangku
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Di sini aku merindukan dirimu.. oh
Kini ku coba mencari penggantimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih…
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
disini aku merindukan dirimu
kini kucoba mencari penggantimu
namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih
Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan
Inginku lupakan semua tentang dirimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh bintangku
(Ulang) (2x)
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Di sini aku merindukan dirimu.. oh
Kini ku coba mencari penggantimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih…..
Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan
setiap kali saya mendengar lagu ini saya akan memikirkan perpisahan saya dengan anda semua...kawan baik saya...tiga laki cun bio ambilan julai 2008...geng - geng cucuku...geng - geng adindaku...rakan jmk ku di KHAR...anak buah kesayangku di khar...selepas tamat pengajian di UPSi...selepas tamat sidang...selepas tamat segala mak nenek di UPSI...betol betol hanya tinggal kenangan sahaja....
Tajuk Lagu/Lirik: Tinggal Kenangan
Artis/Penyanyi: Saleem
Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan
Inginku lupakan semua tentang dirimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh bintangku
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Di sini aku merindukan dirimu.. oh
Kini ku coba mencari penggantimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih…
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
disini aku merindukan dirimu
kini kucoba mencari penggantimu
namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih
Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan
Inginku lupakan semua tentang dirimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh bintangku
(Ulang) (2x)
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Di sini aku merindukan dirimu.. oh
Kini ku coba mencari penggantimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih…..
Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
PERTEMUAN LAMBANG PERPISAHAN...
sajak ini, say berikan nama..."pertemuan lambang perpisah"
saya dedikasikan sajak ini khas kepada sahabat - sahabat UPSI saya...terutama budak bio sem 4....geng - geng cucu - cucuku, geng - geng adindaku, geng - geng ice blended, geng - geng .... geng - geng.... dan geng - geng....(x abis klu nak list), juga tidak dilupakan sahabat sekerja i...Pak Abu(ash_cerap)...lect - lect yang bnyk mendidik dan mengajar especially.....hehe.....i sajew yang taw cukup larh ek....huhu....dan akhir sekali sahabat - sahabat JMK KHAR....
klu rase nak muntah lepas baca sajak ini...
sori ek....
Bila……
Gelak ketawa mula beriak gemanya
Suara keriangan mula berdesing
Hati yang ceria mula menyinar
Jauh dalam hatiku,
Air mataku mula bergenang
Kepiluan mula bertapak
Kesedihan mula menjajah
Terkenang perpisahan yang menanti
Bila,
Mulanya saat kita bertemu,
Perpisahan mula menjelma
Menyambut kedatangan kami
Di penghujung jalan nanti…
Aka tidak bisa
Aku tidak paham
Mengapa dan bagaimana
Setiap pertemuan akan berakhir dengan perpisahan….
Bulan tidak akan purnama selama – lamanya selagi sang suria masih menyinar….
Thursday, January 28, 2010
sejauh mana sinaranmu...
hari dah bermula,
mentari dah menyilau,
haba dah terada,
bahang dan membina
dari jauh,
mentari adalah kuning telur,
nampak enak dan comel,
dari dekat,
mentari adalah raksasa
pemancar api yang setia,
pengebom hidrogen yang berjaya.
warga empat musim,
mentari adalah aset merantaumu,
warga khatulistiwa,
bisa melihat mentari,
mengamati salji yang putih menyejukkan bumi,
itu kontras dan pilih kasih,
warga adam sahaja yang mahir berbuat demikian.
mentari,
engkau mengajar aku mengerti,
engkau memicit keluar peluhku,
engkau membarakan api marahku
engkau juga penyejuk emaosiku
mentari sinaranmu mengagumkan aku,
bahangmu membahagiakan cintaku,
habamu nafkahku saban hari,
namun mentari,
di mana sinaranmu?
di mana estetika sinaranmu...
haba dan bahangmu semakin menjadi...
membakar dari kulit jauh ke dalam hati...
mentari,
sinaranmu semakin malap,
habamu semakin panas,
bahangmu semakin pedih...
namun,
aku bisa pada bahangmu...
aku bisa pada habamu...
ai tercari - cari...
mana sinarmu mentari...
mentari dah menyilau,
haba dah terada,
bahang dan membina
dari jauh,
mentari adalah kuning telur,
nampak enak dan comel,
dari dekat,
mentari adalah raksasa
pemancar api yang setia,
pengebom hidrogen yang berjaya.
warga empat musim,
mentari adalah aset merantaumu,
warga khatulistiwa,
bisa melihat mentari,
mengamati salji yang putih menyejukkan bumi,
itu kontras dan pilih kasih,
warga adam sahaja yang mahir berbuat demikian.
mentari,
engkau mengajar aku mengerti,
engkau memicit keluar peluhku,
engkau membarakan api marahku
engkau juga penyejuk emaosiku
mentari sinaranmu mengagumkan aku,
bahangmu membahagiakan cintaku,
habamu nafkahku saban hari,
namun mentari,
di mana sinaranmu?
di mana estetika sinaranmu...
haba dan bahangmu semakin menjadi...
membakar dari kulit jauh ke dalam hati...
mentari,
sinaranmu semakin malap,
habamu semakin panas,
bahangmu semakin pedih...
namun,
aku bisa pada bahangmu...
aku bisa pada habamu...
ai tercari - cari...
mana sinarmu mentari...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
alkisah segala bermula daripada orang yang bernama kawanku...
wahai insan...
engkaulah kawanku...
engkaulah temanku...
engkaulah pemberi semangat
dalam diam...engkau...
mengkhianatiku...
menyebar fitnah seribu macam...
menyampaikan imaginasimu...
mendakwahkan halusinasi yang tak oernah wujud...
adakah aku ini diperbuat daripada batu...
adakah aku laki bermakna aku kuat?
adakah aku berbuat salah pada mu?
atau selama ini...engkau tidak pernah menganggapku sebagai manusia...
wahai insan...
aku juga manusia...
aku juga ada hati, ada darah, ada daging...
fitnahmu, ceritamu, halusinasimu...
pisau yang menguris hatiku...
duri yang menikam tembus jiwaku
wahai insan...
saya terima segalanya...
saya menganggap segala hanya satu mimpi...
mimpi yang menyedarkan saya...
mimpi yang menunjukkan diri engkau yang sebenar..
mimpi ini tidak akan saya lupa...
mimpi ini, mimpi saya hingga ke akhir zaman...
mimpi ini juga pencetus dendamku...
mimpi ini akan lenyap seiring dendam yang terbalas pada mu...
wahai insan...
trimalah segala daripada saya pada hari nanti...
janganlah engkau merungut...
sekian terima kasih....
engkaulah kawanku...
engkaulah temanku...
engkaulah pemberi semangat
dalam diam...engkau...
mengkhianatiku...
menyebar fitnah seribu macam...
menyampaikan imaginasimu...
mendakwahkan halusinasi yang tak oernah wujud...
adakah aku ini diperbuat daripada batu...
adakah aku laki bermakna aku kuat?
adakah aku berbuat salah pada mu?
atau selama ini...engkau tidak pernah menganggapku sebagai manusia...
wahai insan...
aku juga manusia...
aku juga ada hati, ada darah, ada daging...
fitnahmu, ceritamu, halusinasimu...
pisau yang menguris hatiku...
duri yang menikam tembus jiwaku
wahai insan...
saya terima segalanya...
saya menganggap segala hanya satu mimpi...
mimpi yang menyedarkan saya...
mimpi yang menunjukkan diri engkau yang sebenar..
mimpi ini tidak akan saya lupa...
mimpi ini, mimpi saya hingga ke akhir zaman...
mimpi ini juga pencetus dendamku...
mimpi ini akan lenyap seiring dendam yang terbalas pada mu...
wahai insan...
trimalah segala daripada saya pada hari nanti...
janganlah engkau merungut...
sekian terima kasih....
Saturday, January 9, 2010
How Far Can We Really Know About A Person???
Long long time ago, one of my friend told me that she do not really know about me...i doubt it because i think she can know what i am thinking and what i want to...We are quite friendly and we talk most of the things...however, she just told me that she does not understand me...
I think these few days i really know what does she meant...There are one uncertainty about mankind is that we are very dynamic...we change with the time and we gain with the time...it is so difficult for us to stay static in our attitude and mindset...we change and the surrounding is molding every of the changes...
i used to thought that i am very static, i do not change with time...it is just a lie...a lie that i used to comfort myself...nowadays i can no longer make this lie to myself...i see through what really mean my dynamical human...this is especially when one of my friend change drastically...
These few days...i had being very sad...i was so hurt by my friend and i really cannot hold it anymore...i had think and think...my thinking cause headache on myself...i took a deep breath and relax myself...but every times i let it goes, my friend will once again strikes my heart making me bleeding seriously...
I know it very well my that friend had changed...he changed too much or might be he never changed...he just camouflage he himself...he cover his hatred on me...he keep his dislikeness on me till now...i can sense it now...it was so hard for me to accept it...
after all this while, i had make decision to myself...i had started be feel the emptiness in my heart again...that feeling had lost from my heart for so long...it had come for a visit...i am not sure how long this feeling going to stay...
everything things in this world is a barter system...you give A, you will be paid with the price suitable with A...the same for me...my heart had gone hard like a steel now...i had become senseless...my another friend used to say that i am senseles..now i will let her see...what i will did to a friend that i really gave up to...i will let her know senseless in my life is define as what...
i am someone...very protective to myself...once he hurt me....deep enough until i can look back at the happy moment we had before...my revenge will take place...i wrote this blog...purposely to one of my friend that we knew each other for a year plus...i hope she will understand me when anything bad happen between me and that fellow...i really hope she will understand all the cause that make me did this to him...
I think these few days i really know what does she meant...There are one uncertainty about mankind is that we are very dynamic...we change with the time and we gain with the time...it is so difficult for us to stay static in our attitude and mindset...we change and the surrounding is molding every of the changes...
i used to thought that i am very static, i do not change with time...it is just a lie...a lie that i used to comfort myself...nowadays i can no longer make this lie to myself...i see through what really mean my dynamical human...this is especially when one of my friend change drastically...
These few days...i had being very sad...i was so hurt by my friend and i really cannot hold it anymore...i had think and think...my thinking cause headache on myself...i took a deep breath and relax myself...but every times i let it goes, my friend will once again strikes my heart making me bleeding seriously...
I know it very well my that friend had changed...he changed too much or might be he never changed...he just camouflage he himself...he cover his hatred on me...he keep his dislikeness on me till now...i can sense it now...it was so hard for me to accept it...
after all this while, i had make decision to myself...i had started be feel the emptiness in my heart again...that feeling had lost from my heart for so long...it had come for a visit...i am not sure how long this feeling going to stay...
everything things in this world is a barter system...you give A, you will be paid with the price suitable with A...the same for me...my heart had gone hard like a steel now...i had become senseless...my another friend used to say that i am senseles..now i will let her see...what i will did to a friend that i really gave up to...i will let her know senseless in my life is define as what...
i am someone...very protective to myself...once he hurt me....deep enough until i can look back at the happy moment we had before...my revenge will take place...i wrote this blog...purposely to one of my friend that we knew each other for a year plus...i hope she will understand me when anything bad happen between me and that fellow...i really hope she will understand all the cause that make me did this to him...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
it is better to be in trouble rather than out of trouble....
There are too many things happened these few days. A week before or so, i felt that my life is so happening and nothing bad happened...However, i know that every calm whether will end up in a storm. That particular evening when i was on my way home, i saw lightning on the sky. It continues one after another. Suddenly, i have thought that...if lightning strike, we are advice not to stay under a tree. This is because lightning will usually strikes on the tall structure to neutralize its charges.
Well, that was not what i thought. I think that, if lightning strikes, the place that is safest i think might be under a tree. This is because i am pretty sure that the tree is much higher than i was. thus, if lightning strikes, it will strikes the tree and not me. If i was in a empty place, i might be the tallest structure and might be being hit by the lightning.
Thus, the things that people think as dangerous or problem sometimes will make us safe enough. That is why i said that it is actually better to stay in a problem rather than out of a problem because when we were out of a problem, we might be the real problem for a new scene. If we stick in a problem, we are still in the problem but we are not the real problem. Which is better is depend on how we define and look at the phenomenon that occur.
One of my friend told me that, it is very subjective to said that "to be in the problem is better than out of problem". We as human being must used to the situation of being in problems. Only by these ways we can learn and mature our thinking and will lead us to do the correct decision at the correct time. So, i felt that if the situation goes like what my friend said, then it should be like we need to be in the circle of into the problem and out of it to re - into a new problem. Isn't this is funny and it is just like a big joke in life.
Yeah, it is very true that life is actually a big joke. All these jokes make us feel more mature. the jokes had being said and re - said to make people felt enhanced. the largest jokes in life will be that: We are live to die.
are we living to die or are we die for living???the answer is dependent on how we think about life. Thus, this answer my query. actually, no matter how we think...whether we are safe under a tree or not, whether we live to survive or to survive we live.
In every moment of life, we might experience many different scene...each different scene will determine how we think. if we are opened minded, we will think that they are still many things still new to us and not faulty for us to try... Different stages of life will gives out different prospective....
Well, that was not what i thought. I think that, if lightning strikes, the place that is safest i think might be under a tree. This is because i am pretty sure that the tree is much higher than i was. thus, if lightning strikes, it will strikes the tree and not me. If i was in a empty place, i might be the tallest structure and might be being hit by the lightning.
Thus, the things that people think as dangerous or problem sometimes will make us safe enough. That is why i said that it is actually better to stay in a problem rather than out of a problem because when we were out of a problem, we might be the real problem for a new scene. If we stick in a problem, we are still in the problem but we are not the real problem. Which is better is depend on how we define and look at the phenomenon that occur.
One of my friend told me that, it is very subjective to said that "to be in the problem is better than out of problem". We as human being must used to the situation of being in problems. Only by these ways we can learn and mature our thinking and will lead us to do the correct decision at the correct time. So, i felt that if the situation goes like what my friend said, then it should be like we need to be in the circle of into the problem and out of it to re - into a new problem. Isn't this is funny and it is just like a big joke in life.
Yeah, it is very true that life is actually a big joke. All these jokes make us feel more mature. the jokes had being said and re - said to make people felt enhanced. the largest jokes in life will be that: We are live to die.
are we living to die or are we die for living???the answer is dependent on how we think about life. Thus, this answer my query. actually, no matter how we think...whether we are safe under a tree or not, whether we live to survive or to survive we live.
In every moment of life, we might experience many different scene...each different scene will determine how we think. if we are opened minded, we will think that they are still many things still new to us and not faulty for us to try... Different stages of life will gives out different prospective....
Monday, January 4, 2010
rasa bersalah....
pada hari ini...saya sangat riang ria kerana dapat menjalani segala - gala dengan baik...namun...setiap yang baik itu biasanya berakhir dengan keadaan yang teruk...
hari ini i telah dikhianati oleh kawan yang paling rapat denganku yang i ingatkan selama ini dierlah orang yang dapat menyimpan rahsia saya, dier lah yang menjadi tempat i luahkan segala mak neneknya...namun, kini i terasa susah pulak nak mempercayai pada dier lagi kerana dier telah menghancurkan segala harapanku pada dier...
tapi siapakan saya untuk mengata dier...padahal i jugak tidak memegang amanah yang org berikan padaku...i juga memberitahukan rahsiah orang lain pada dier...sbb selama ini saya sangka dier tidak akan memberitahu pada yang len...siapa sangka pada hari ini, pada sejam yang lepas...dier telah menghancurkan segala kepercayaanku pada dier...
saya tidak tahu apakah motif dan juga objektif dier memberitahu rahsiah itu pada orang lain...adakah dier ingin gunakan rahsiah saya itu sebagai salah satu pelampung bagi menyelamatkan dirinya...adakah dier yang selama ini saya rase sangat baik dan rasianal akan mengorbankan saya untuk kepentingannya...
saya tidak tahu...hati menangis seperti hujan yang turun sekurun sekali...hatiku berdarah seperti gunung berapi yang meletus...kepercayaanku pada dier seperti awan yang ditiup angin...diriku sendiri sekarang tidak dapat ditakrifkan lagi...
hari ini i telah dikhianati oleh kawan yang paling rapat denganku yang i ingatkan selama ini dierlah orang yang dapat menyimpan rahsia saya, dier lah yang menjadi tempat i luahkan segala mak neneknya...namun, kini i terasa susah pulak nak mempercayai pada dier lagi kerana dier telah menghancurkan segala harapanku pada dier...
tapi siapakan saya untuk mengata dier...padahal i jugak tidak memegang amanah yang org berikan padaku...i juga memberitahukan rahsiah orang lain pada dier...sbb selama ini saya sangka dier tidak akan memberitahu pada yang len...siapa sangka pada hari ini, pada sejam yang lepas...dier telah menghancurkan segala kepercayaanku pada dier...
saya tidak tahu apakah motif dan juga objektif dier memberitahu rahsiah itu pada orang lain...adakah dier ingin gunakan rahsiah saya itu sebagai salah satu pelampung bagi menyelamatkan dirinya...adakah dier yang selama ini saya rase sangat baik dan rasianal akan mengorbankan saya untuk kepentingannya...
saya tidak tahu...hati menangis seperti hujan yang turun sekurun sekali...hatiku berdarah seperti gunung berapi yang meletus...kepercayaanku pada dier seperti awan yang ditiup angin...diriku sendiri sekarang tidak dapat ditakrifkan lagi...
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