Love the feeling and not really the person....

There are a few quotes which is very important to us. The very first I knew is the quote: money is everything. As I grown up, I had realized that money is not everything but without money you can do nothing. This had been so true in my life. Money really not everything but sometimes when I had come to a state where I lack of money, I realize that without money, I cannot do anything. Do you think you can survive in today’s community without a cent in your pocket? Begging for food or die of hunger? I think you have your own answer. Malaysia is the same in terms of reality; nothing much different from other developing country or moral – depleting country.
Well, when it comes to love. I had got myself to know that love is a need for everyone but not all of us are able to have it. Sometimes, when I saw a couple holding hand, I use to think: how long will they be able to hold their hands together that tightly? I never believe in true love because I know that no matter how much you love a person, the feeling will soon deplete and you will need to find another person to love with. However, recent incident had made a very different view for me.
When a couple holds their hands together, it is very dependent on each of the couple to hold it. My second sister had got married a few weeks ago. I saw her picture with her husband. At that moment, I thought to myself that how long can she be in the happily ever after state as I can seen on her face. I had being very negative on that all these while. However, when it comes to me, I am nothing much different from my second sister.
When we are in love or we hold the hand of the person that we think we can rely on for the rest of your life, we had gambled our destiny on that person. At the same time, he or she that we relied on also gambled his or her destiny on us. Well, this gambling is a large bet. Once you lose, you lost most of your everything. Your family, your happiness and of course your tiny fracture of your life. Maybe I am wrong; a large fragment of your life and memories will be destroyed by the loosing of this gambling. If you think you had win the gambling and you can have your price of happily ever after, I can ensure you that you are just day dreaming. This is because love between two people is very fracture. It can build u easily and it can break down double speed as it builds up.
Seems to give up in love actually but there is another view in love. Love between two people is very fragile. This is very true as you can see in a marriage couple with children. They can divorce after a night of quarrel or maybe they can break up due to a slippage in a dinner night. However, the love in each of the couple is very strong. Although they had divorce, the feeling in each of them for the other is still very deep and lovely. This might be due to the feeling of existence for the time that they had been together. We had used to the existence of that person in our lives. Nevertheless, we do not really want him or her to be out of sight, out of mind. This is rarely happened. Believe it or not, when a couple divorce, they sit, they eat, they drink or even they sleep…the memories of them being together always pop up in their mind. Some called this as memories but I call this as a feeling of loss.
At the moment we had bonded up with a person, we had started to accumulate the memories in our memories. We had gather all the feelings, things, mood, whether and all those happening things, dead or living materials into our memories. At that moment, the person that we love is the person that we hold his or her hand. However, after sometimes we are no longer love that person we hold our hand with. Instead, we love the feeling of his existence beside us. We love it when he or she beside us when we had dinner. We love it when he or she beside us when we watch movie. We love it when he or she is beside us when we sleep. The feeling of his or her existence had already taken a very firm place in our heart and this place is hardly can be replace by other. There is an acceptance for this feeling among those Casanova… dun be mistaken, the male or female whore sometime had a even greater deeper love feeling than a highly status woman or man…
I had fallen in love with this particular person (#) and we had broken up after being together for 2 years. After the cool period of breaking down, I had found out the feeling I had written above. I do not know whether I love # anymore or not but all I know is that I love the feeling of # existence in my life…to #, I really hope that we can be together for the rest of our lives. Although I knew that it is some sort impossible for you, but I really hope that day will come…