Long long time ago, one of my friend told me that she do not really know about me...i doubt it because i think she can know what i am thinking and what i want to...We are quite friendly and we talk most of the things...however, she just told me that she does not understand me...
I think these few days i really know what does she meant...There are one uncertainty about mankind is that we are very dynamic...we change with the time and we gain with the time...it is so difficult for us to stay static in our attitude and mindset...we change and the surrounding is molding every of the changes...
i used to thought that i am very static, i do not change with time...it is just a lie...a lie that i used to comfort myself...nowadays i can no longer make this lie to myself...i see through what really mean my dynamical human...this is especially when one of my friend change drastically...
These few days...i had being very sad...i was so hurt by my friend and i really cannot hold it anymore...i had think and think...my thinking cause headache on myself...i took a deep breath and relax myself...but every times i let it goes, my friend will once again strikes my heart making me bleeding seriously...
I know it very well my that friend had changed...he changed too much or might be he never changed...he just camouflage he himself...he cover his hatred on me...he keep his dislikeness on me till now...i can sense it now...it was so hard for me to accept it...
after all this while, i had make decision to myself...i had started be feel the emptiness in my heart again...that feeling had lost from my heart for so long...it had come for a visit...i am not sure how long this feeling going to stay...
everything things in this world is a barter system...you give A, you will be paid with the price suitable with A...the same for me...my heart had gone hard like a steel now...i had become senseless...my another friend used to say that i am senseles..now i will let her see...what i will did to a friend that i really gave up to...i will let her know senseless in my life is define as what...
i am someone...very protective to myself...once he hurt me....deep enough until i can look back at the happy moment we had before...my revenge will take place...i wrote this blog...purposely to one of my friend that we knew each other for a year plus...i hope she will understand me when anything bad happen between me and that fellow...i really hope she will understand all the cause that make me did this to him...
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3 comments:
people do change, either towards negative or positive. But a GOOD friend will always accept the changes of his/her friend as how he/she wants people to accept her changes. However, a GOOD friend NOT ONLY accept his/her friend changes, but also guide and suggest towards a better paradigm, vice versa... Be reflective and have less negative thinking towards your friend... hehe... donno la...sometimes, the more you know abt the person, more of his/her true colours can be seen. when the true colors is more on the negative side, this is when you have to think...Reflect all the good moments between u and him/her, although very little where that can make a good decision or judgement, whether to continue the friendship or not. We are very good in judging people and very lack of self reflecting..... haiya... dont fight fight mah......
Stan, its more than enough for u to know yuorself.. if u know yuorself, u'll improve what is lack, and u'll maintain what is in ok state..
if u know urself, others will be just the mirror of u.. your reflection.. if the reflection is good, means that u need not to do anything to improve it, but, just how to maintain it,..
if not, do something for the better..
I am sure that the episode has already over....Happy to hear that both of you are alright now....just that couldn't figure out what will happen to both you and your 'she' friend that you've mentioned in your post.....gaduh sekali sekala kadang kala adalah baik untuk direnungkan dan untuk memahami hati kita samada kita masih memerlukan dia.... sebagai kawan....Hidup jangan dimenyampahkan supaya tidak disampahkan......
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