hari dah bermula,
mentari dah menyilau,
haba dah terada,
bahang dan membina
dari jauh,
mentari adalah kuning telur,
nampak enak dan comel,
dari dekat,
mentari adalah raksasa
pemancar api yang setia,
pengebom hidrogen yang berjaya.
warga empat musim,
mentari adalah aset merantaumu,
warga khatulistiwa,
bisa melihat mentari,
mengamati salji yang putih menyejukkan bumi,
itu kontras dan pilih kasih,
warga adam sahaja yang mahir berbuat demikian.
mentari,
engkau mengajar aku mengerti,
engkau memicit keluar peluhku,
engkau membarakan api marahku
engkau juga penyejuk emaosiku
mentari sinaranmu mengagumkan aku,
bahangmu membahagiakan cintaku,
habamu nafkahku saban hari,
namun mentari,
di mana sinaranmu?
di mana estetika sinaranmu...
haba dan bahangmu semakin menjadi...
membakar dari kulit jauh ke dalam hati...
mentari,
sinaranmu semakin malap,
habamu semakin panas,
bahangmu semakin pedih...
namun,
aku bisa pada bahangmu...
aku bisa pada habamu...
ai tercari - cari...
mana sinarmu mentari...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
alkisah segala bermula daripada orang yang bernama kawanku...
wahai insan...
engkaulah kawanku...
engkaulah temanku...
engkaulah pemberi semangat
dalam diam...engkau...
mengkhianatiku...
menyebar fitnah seribu macam...
menyampaikan imaginasimu...
mendakwahkan halusinasi yang tak oernah wujud...
adakah aku ini diperbuat daripada batu...
adakah aku laki bermakna aku kuat?
adakah aku berbuat salah pada mu?
atau selama ini...engkau tidak pernah menganggapku sebagai manusia...
wahai insan...
aku juga manusia...
aku juga ada hati, ada darah, ada daging...
fitnahmu, ceritamu, halusinasimu...
pisau yang menguris hatiku...
duri yang menikam tembus jiwaku
wahai insan...
saya terima segalanya...
saya menganggap segala hanya satu mimpi...
mimpi yang menyedarkan saya...
mimpi yang menunjukkan diri engkau yang sebenar..
mimpi ini tidak akan saya lupa...
mimpi ini, mimpi saya hingga ke akhir zaman...
mimpi ini juga pencetus dendamku...
mimpi ini akan lenyap seiring dendam yang terbalas pada mu...
wahai insan...
trimalah segala daripada saya pada hari nanti...
janganlah engkau merungut...
sekian terima kasih....
engkaulah kawanku...
engkaulah temanku...
engkaulah pemberi semangat
dalam diam...engkau...
mengkhianatiku...
menyebar fitnah seribu macam...
menyampaikan imaginasimu...
mendakwahkan halusinasi yang tak oernah wujud...
adakah aku ini diperbuat daripada batu...
adakah aku laki bermakna aku kuat?
adakah aku berbuat salah pada mu?
atau selama ini...engkau tidak pernah menganggapku sebagai manusia...
wahai insan...
aku juga manusia...
aku juga ada hati, ada darah, ada daging...
fitnahmu, ceritamu, halusinasimu...
pisau yang menguris hatiku...
duri yang menikam tembus jiwaku
wahai insan...
saya terima segalanya...
saya menganggap segala hanya satu mimpi...
mimpi yang menyedarkan saya...
mimpi yang menunjukkan diri engkau yang sebenar..
mimpi ini tidak akan saya lupa...
mimpi ini, mimpi saya hingga ke akhir zaman...
mimpi ini juga pencetus dendamku...
mimpi ini akan lenyap seiring dendam yang terbalas pada mu...
wahai insan...
trimalah segala daripada saya pada hari nanti...
janganlah engkau merungut...
sekian terima kasih....
Saturday, January 9, 2010
How Far Can We Really Know About A Person???
Long long time ago, one of my friend told me that she do not really know about me...i doubt it because i think she can know what i am thinking and what i want to...We are quite friendly and we talk most of the things...however, she just told me that she does not understand me...
I think these few days i really know what does she meant...There are one uncertainty about mankind is that we are very dynamic...we change with the time and we gain with the time...it is so difficult for us to stay static in our attitude and mindset...we change and the surrounding is molding every of the changes...
i used to thought that i am very static, i do not change with time...it is just a lie...a lie that i used to comfort myself...nowadays i can no longer make this lie to myself...i see through what really mean my dynamical human...this is especially when one of my friend change drastically...
These few days...i had being very sad...i was so hurt by my friend and i really cannot hold it anymore...i had think and think...my thinking cause headache on myself...i took a deep breath and relax myself...but every times i let it goes, my friend will once again strikes my heart making me bleeding seriously...
I know it very well my that friend had changed...he changed too much or might be he never changed...he just camouflage he himself...he cover his hatred on me...he keep his dislikeness on me till now...i can sense it now...it was so hard for me to accept it...
after all this while, i had make decision to myself...i had started be feel the emptiness in my heart again...that feeling had lost from my heart for so long...it had come for a visit...i am not sure how long this feeling going to stay...
everything things in this world is a barter system...you give A, you will be paid with the price suitable with A...the same for me...my heart had gone hard like a steel now...i had become senseless...my another friend used to say that i am senseles..now i will let her see...what i will did to a friend that i really gave up to...i will let her know senseless in my life is define as what...
i am someone...very protective to myself...once he hurt me....deep enough until i can look back at the happy moment we had before...my revenge will take place...i wrote this blog...purposely to one of my friend that we knew each other for a year plus...i hope she will understand me when anything bad happen between me and that fellow...i really hope she will understand all the cause that make me did this to him...
I think these few days i really know what does she meant...There are one uncertainty about mankind is that we are very dynamic...we change with the time and we gain with the time...it is so difficult for us to stay static in our attitude and mindset...we change and the surrounding is molding every of the changes...
i used to thought that i am very static, i do not change with time...it is just a lie...a lie that i used to comfort myself...nowadays i can no longer make this lie to myself...i see through what really mean my dynamical human...this is especially when one of my friend change drastically...
These few days...i had being very sad...i was so hurt by my friend and i really cannot hold it anymore...i had think and think...my thinking cause headache on myself...i took a deep breath and relax myself...but every times i let it goes, my friend will once again strikes my heart making me bleeding seriously...
I know it very well my that friend had changed...he changed too much or might be he never changed...he just camouflage he himself...he cover his hatred on me...he keep his dislikeness on me till now...i can sense it now...it was so hard for me to accept it...
after all this while, i had make decision to myself...i had started be feel the emptiness in my heart again...that feeling had lost from my heart for so long...it had come for a visit...i am not sure how long this feeling going to stay...
everything things in this world is a barter system...you give A, you will be paid with the price suitable with A...the same for me...my heart had gone hard like a steel now...i had become senseless...my another friend used to say that i am senseles..now i will let her see...what i will did to a friend that i really gave up to...i will let her know senseless in my life is define as what...
i am someone...very protective to myself...once he hurt me....deep enough until i can look back at the happy moment we had before...my revenge will take place...i wrote this blog...purposely to one of my friend that we knew each other for a year plus...i hope she will understand me when anything bad happen between me and that fellow...i really hope she will understand all the cause that make me did this to him...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
it is better to be in trouble rather than out of trouble....
There are too many things happened these few days. A week before or so, i felt that my life is so happening and nothing bad happened...However, i know that every calm whether will end up in a storm. That particular evening when i was on my way home, i saw lightning on the sky. It continues one after another. Suddenly, i have thought that...if lightning strike, we are advice not to stay under a tree. This is because lightning will usually strikes on the tall structure to neutralize its charges.
Well, that was not what i thought. I think that, if lightning strikes, the place that is safest i think might be under a tree. This is because i am pretty sure that the tree is much higher than i was. thus, if lightning strikes, it will strikes the tree and not me. If i was in a empty place, i might be the tallest structure and might be being hit by the lightning.
Thus, the things that people think as dangerous or problem sometimes will make us safe enough. That is why i said that it is actually better to stay in a problem rather than out of a problem because when we were out of a problem, we might be the real problem for a new scene. If we stick in a problem, we are still in the problem but we are not the real problem. Which is better is depend on how we define and look at the phenomenon that occur.
One of my friend told me that, it is very subjective to said that "to be in the problem is better than out of problem". We as human being must used to the situation of being in problems. Only by these ways we can learn and mature our thinking and will lead us to do the correct decision at the correct time. So, i felt that if the situation goes like what my friend said, then it should be like we need to be in the circle of into the problem and out of it to re - into a new problem. Isn't this is funny and it is just like a big joke in life.
Yeah, it is very true that life is actually a big joke. All these jokes make us feel more mature. the jokes had being said and re - said to make people felt enhanced. the largest jokes in life will be that: We are live to die.
are we living to die or are we die for living???the answer is dependent on how we think about life. Thus, this answer my query. actually, no matter how we think...whether we are safe under a tree or not, whether we live to survive or to survive we live.
In every moment of life, we might experience many different scene...each different scene will determine how we think. if we are opened minded, we will think that they are still many things still new to us and not faulty for us to try... Different stages of life will gives out different prospective....
Well, that was not what i thought. I think that, if lightning strikes, the place that is safest i think might be under a tree. This is because i am pretty sure that the tree is much higher than i was. thus, if lightning strikes, it will strikes the tree and not me. If i was in a empty place, i might be the tallest structure and might be being hit by the lightning.
Thus, the things that people think as dangerous or problem sometimes will make us safe enough. That is why i said that it is actually better to stay in a problem rather than out of a problem because when we were out of a problem, we might be the real problem for a new scene. If we stick in a problem, we are still in the problem but we are not the real problem. Which is better is depend on how we define and look at the phenomenon that occur.
One of my friend told me that, it is very subjective to said that "to be in the problem is better than out of problem". We as human being must used to the situation of being in problems. Only by these ways we can learn and mature our thinking and will lead us to do the correct decision at the correct time. So, i felt that if the situation goes like what my friend said, then it should be like we need to be in the circle of into the problem and out of it to re - into a new problem. Isn't this is funny and it is just like a big joke in life.
Yeah, it is very true that life is actually a big joke. All these jokes make us feel more mature. the jokes had being said and re - said to make people felt enhanced. the largest jokes in life will be that: We are live to die.
are we living to die or are we die for living???the answer is dependent on how we think about life. Thus, this answer my query. actually, no matter how we think...whether we are safe under a tree or not, whether we live to survive or to survive we live.
In every moment of life, we might experience many different scene...each different scene will determine how we think. if we are opened minded, we will think that they are still many things still new to us and not faulty for us to try... Different stages of life will gives out different prospective....
Monday, January 4, 2010
rasa bersalah....
pada hari ini...saya sangat riang ria kerana dapat menjalani segala - gala dengan baik...namun...setiap yang baik itu biasanya berakhir dengan keadaan yang teruk...
hari ini i telah dikhianati oleh kawan yang paling rapat denganku yang i ingatkan selama ini dierlah orang yang dapat menyimpan rahsia saya, dier lah yang menjadi tempat i luahkan segala mak neneknya...namun, kini i terasa susah pulak nak mempercayai pada dier lagi kerana dier telah menghancurkan segala harapanku pada dier...
tapi siapakan saya untuk mengata dier...padahal i jugak tidak memegang amanah yang org berikan padaku...i juga memberitahukan rahsiah orang lain pada dier...sbb selama ini saya sangka dier tidak akan memberitahu pada yang len...siapa sangka pada hari ini, pada sejam yang lepas...dier telah menghancurkan segala kepercayaanku pada dier...
saya tidak tahu apakah motif dan juga objektif dier memberitahu rahsiah itu pada orang lain...adakah dier ingin gunakan rahsiah saya itu sebagai salah satu pelampung bagi menyelamatkan dirinya...adakah dier yang selama ini saya rase sangat baik dan rasianal akan mengorbankan saya untuk kepentingannya...
saya tidak tahu...hati menangis seperti hujan yang turun sekurun sekali...hatiku berdarah seperti gunung berapi yang meletus...kepercayaanku pada dier seperti awan yang ditiup angin...diriku sendiri sekarang tidak dapat ditakrifkan lagi...
hari ini i telah dikhianati oleh kawan yang paling rapat denganku yang i ingatkan selama ini dierlah orang yang dapat menyimpan rahsia saya, dier lah yang menjadi tempat i luahkan segala mak neneknya...namun, kini i terasa susah pulak nak mempercayai pada dier lagi kerana dier telah menghancurkan segala harapanku pada dier...
tapi siapakan saya untuk mengata dier...padahal i jugak tidak memegang amanah yang org berikan padaku...i juga memberitahukan rahsiah orang lain pada dier...sbb selama ini saya sangka dier tidak akan memberitahu pada yang len...siapa sangka pada hari ini, pada sejam yang lepas...dier telah menghancurkan segala kepercayaanku pada dier...
saya tidak tahu apakah motif dan juga objektif dier memberitahu rahsiah itu pada orang lain...adakah dier ingin gunakan rahsiah saya itu sebagai salah satu pelampung bagi menyelamatkan dirinya...adakah dier yang selama ini saya rase sangat baik dan rasianal akan mengorbankan saya untuk kepentingannya...
saya tidak tahu...hati menangis seperti hujan yang turun sekurun sekali...hatiku berdarah seperti gunung berapi yang meletus...kepercayaanku pada dier seperti awan yang ditiup angin...diriku sendiri sekarang tidak dapat ditakrifkan lagi...
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